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Author: Evelyn Michelle | The Soft Power Journal

  • Dear Former Me- It’s Okay To Cry

    Dear Former Me- It’s Okay To Cry

    Dear Former Me,

    You cried again today. And not the pretty cry… like the really really ugly cry. You didn’t cry in front of everyone. You just went to the bathroom and sat in the tub and let it out. You were scared someone would hear-but also scared no one would.

    You’re so used to having to be strong and you’re still getting used to crying. I mean.. You used to cry a lot but your family would always call you dramatic or tell you that you’re crying for no reason.. And maybe you were.. But maybe you just were hurting. Like today. Today just….hurt.

    You’re allowed to break down and still be  rebuilding something powerful.

    You don’t have to earn rest, and you don’t have to earn love. You don’t have to pretend that you’re okay when you’re really not. It’s really okay to not be okay. You’re human. Remember.. Even on the worst days, God is still beside you and with God on your side, you cannot fail. You won’t fail. So, let the tears fall but remember to get back up. It’s scary but I believe in you. I believe in us. And if no one has told you recently, I’m so proud of you. I’m proud of you. I’m literally so proud of you. I cannot say that enough.

    We’re doing better than we think. Honestly. 

    I love you Evelyn.

  • Dear Former Me- Am I Enough?

    Dear Former Me- Am I Enough?

    Dear Former Me,

    Today was one of those days where you did everything you were supposed to do-

    And still felt like it wasn’t enough. You woke up tired, poured into everyone else, and somehow forgot to check in with yourself. Again.

    You’re not crazy for feeling like this. You’re not weak because it feels heavy. You’ve carried a lot for a long time, and sometimes, just standing upright is a victory. Try not to be so hard on yourself but we both know that’s not the easiest thing to do. No matter how far you’ve come, you still seem to have this little voice in your mind telling you  to do more, prove more, be someone better.. Or worse.. Someone else.

    I hate that for us to be completely honest. Life has been weird lately. It feels like everything is going in slow motion and the world is passing you by. You’re smiling.. Sure.. but your smile never quite reaches your eyes. And when you do smile.. It never feels genuine. It’s really hard to talk to anyone because nothing is actually wrong.. Well I mean.. Not technically. You have a good life. And you are extremely grateful.. So why does it still feel like you’re lost?

    I wish I had all those answers, but truthfully, I guess I’m still figuring them out myself. How did we get so disconnected from ourselves? I really hope that you know this feeling will pass. Even if it doesn’t seem like it. This version of you? The one with the tired heart? The one who keeps showing up for others in the midst of breaking internally? She’s worthy of love too. Please don’t forget that. You’re going somewhere.. Even if it doesn’t feel like it. She’s going somewhere beautiful. I know you don’t always see it.. But trust me.. You’re not really lost. Just keep trusting God and remember.. It’s his plan.. Not yours.

    I really love you. I know I don’t tell you that enough but I do. I hope this year, I can start showing up for you more. You deserve that.

    I love you Evelyn.

  • Lessons from the Quiet Season

    Lessons from the Quiet Season

    No one really prepares you for the season when life goes quiet.

    You’re not spiraling, but you’re not soaring.

    You’re not broken, but you’re not blooming either.

    You’re just… here.

    In the space between what was and what’s coming.

    In the silence between prayers and answers.

    And at first, it’s peaceful.

    But then it gets uncomfortable.

    You start asking yourself: Am I missing something? Did I mess this up? Why isn’t anything happening?

    But I want you to know something:

    The quiet season isn’t a punishment. It’s a classroom.

    I’ve been in that season.

    When the plans stall. When the friends disappear.

    When the spark fades and the noise dims and you don’t know what to grab onto.

    And I remember thinking: God, did You forget about me?

    But He didn’t.

    He was just speaking in a language I hadn’t learned yet:

    stillness.

    Because in the quiet, everything echoes louder—your doubts, your desires, your truth.

    And if you listen closely, you’ll realize:

    The quiet doesn’t mean nothing’s happening. It means something sacred is.

    Here’s what the quiet season teaches you—if you let it:

    1. Who are you when no one’s clapping?

    When no one’s validating you. When there’s no audience, no applause, no obvious results.

    Can you still show up for yourself?

    2. Can you hear your own voice beneath the noise?

    The quiet strips away distractions.

    It asks you to tune back into you—your needs, your values, your spirit.

    3. Not everything that slows you down is a setback.

    Sometimes, it’s divine pacing.

    Sometimes, it’s protection disguised as a pause.

    So if you’re in the quiet season right now, try this:

    Create a “Stillness Practice.”

    Each morning or night, ask yourself: What do I need to hear today?

    Write down whatever comes up. It doesn’t have to make sense. Let your spirit speak.

    Start noticing what’s growing instead of what’s missing.

    Maybe your patience.

    Maybe your trust.

    Maybe your emotional capacity.

    Reframe the silence.

    Instead of “Nothing is happening,” try: “I’m being refined in ways I can’t see yet.”

    There is something beautiful being built inside the silence.

    This season is not wasted.

    This season is not void.

    It is an altar. It is a cocoon.

    It is the quiet before your bloom.

    So breathe.

    Take the pressure off.

    And remember:

    Sometimes the most powerful things grow in silence first.

  • How to Let Go Without Shaming Who You Were

    How to Let Go Without Shaming Who You Were

    Let’s be real.

    There are parts of us we don’t always like to revisit.

    Versions of ourselves that feel… messy.

    The one who settled. The one who stayed too long. The one who didn’t know her worth yet.

    And sometimes, when we’re trying to evolve, it’s easy to look back on her and cringe.

    But here’s the truth most people won’t say:

    You can’t fully become who you’re meant to be if you’re still shaming who you used to be.

    That version of you?

    She was surviving with what she knew.

    She was loving with what she had.

    She was doing her best, even when it wasn’t perfect.

    This isn’t about bypassing accountability. It’s about holding your past self with compassion instead of a gavel.

    Because we love to post about healing.

    We love to talk about “leveling up.”

    But sometimes, healing looks like visiting the girl you used to be—not to judge her, but to thank her.

    Because without her choices, her mistakes, her heartbreaks… you wouldn’t be here.

    She may have been lost, but she was still leading you home.

    I used to shame the parts of me that let things slide.

    That overextended. That kept trying to prove I was worth loving.

    But the more I tried to erase her, the more stuck I felt.

    I realized that real growth isn’t just about letting go.

    It’s about letting go with love.

    That means:

    Not deleting her, but integrating her.

    Not rolling your eyes at her, but thanking her for her lessons.

    Not hiding her, but understanding her needs

    So how do you let go without the shame?

    1. Change the story.

    Instead of: “I can’t believe I let that happen.”

    Try: “That version of me didn’t know what I know now—and that’s okay.”

    2. Write her a letter.

    Not a letter of blame, but of closure.

    Tell her what you’ve learned. Tell her what you’re proud of her for.

    Tell her she can rest now.

    3. Speak to her gently.

    When that old pattern shows up, don’t yell at it.

    Whisper: I see you. I know what you’re trying to protect me from. But we’re safe now.

    4. Don’t rush the release.

    Letting go isn’t a one-time act—it’s a practice.

    Every time you choose differently, you’re releasing her a little more.

    5. Mirror her with love.

    Stand in front of your reflection and say:

    I forgive you. I love you. I honor what you were trying to do for me.

    You don’t have to hate who you were to become who you’re meant to be.

    You just have to let her be human.

    You just have to soften the edges around the memories.

    You just have to hold her long enough to say: Thank you… but I’m ready now.

    This is how you move on—with grace, not guilt.

    This is how you release the weight without rejecting your roots.

    This is how you heal with softness, not shame.

    You don’t need to punish your past to claim your future.

    You just need to let go… gently.

  • This Isn’t Stuck, This is Preparation

    This Isn’t Stuck, This is Preparation

    There’s a moment when the noise dies down.

    The texts slow.

    The plans don’t go through.

    The vision board starts to blur.

    And even though you’re still showing up, still breathing, still doing what you can… it feels like nothing is moving.

    You start wondering if you’re missing something.

    If you lost your touch.

    If God stopped listening.

    But what if… you’re not stuck?

    What if this is holy ground, and you’re standing at the edge of a becoming too sacred to rush?

    Because here’s what nobody tells you:

    Preparation feels like stillness.

    It feels like quiet days, unseen work, plans that don’t stick, and prayers that echo back with silence.

    It feels like pulling weeds with no sign of blooms.

    And it will feel like stuck—until you realize you’re actually being softened for what’s next.

    I know that space.

    I’ve cried in it. Fought it. Tried to outwork it.

    I’ve sat in rooms where I once felt powerful and wondered why I suddenly felt invisible.

    I’ve looked at other people’s progress and questioned if I took too many detours.

    But eventually I realized:

    Every delay was disguised direction. Every pause was a prayer being answered quietly.

    Because real power?

    It doesn’t always enter loud.

    Sometimes it tiptoes in while you’re wiping your eyes and learning how to be gentle with yourself again.

    Let’s talk about what preparation really looks like:

    It’s the days when nothing makes sense but your intuition won’t let you quit.

    It’s the version of you that doesn’t feel “on,” but somehow still chooses to show up.

    It’s the space between who you’ve been and who you’re becoming—and the ache of no longer fitting into either.

    You’re not being punished.

    You’re being positioned.

    But you’ve gotta stop calling it stuck.

    Because stuck implies lifelessness.

    And sis, you are anything but lifeless.

    You are actively being re-rooted.

    Refined.

    Redirected.

    Even if it doesn’t look like movement, you are becoming.

    Here’s how to hold yourself when it feels like nothing’s happening:

    1. Stop measuring your momentum by what’s visible.

    Growth doesn’t always leave proof. Sometimes the roots are strengthening before the bloom.

    2. Ask: “What is this preparing me for?” instead of “Why is this happening?”

    Shift the narrative. You’re not being blocked, you’re being built.

    3. Create a “preparation altar.”

    Write down what you’re calling in. Add something symbolic—an old photo, a letter, a verse.

    Place it somewhere you’ll see every day. Let it remind you that the pause is sacred.

    4. Breathe. Really breathe.

    When you start to spiral, come back to your body.

    Place your hand on your heart and say: I trust this pause is protecting and preparing me.

    5. Let this version of you be enough.

    Not the “glowed up” one. Not the “ready” one.

    The one that’s in-between. The one learning how to hold faith without a finish line.

    If this season is quiet… you’re not broken. You’re being spoken to differently.

    So maybe it’s not time to force a breakthrough.

    Maybe it’s time to receive what only silence can offer.

    You don’t need to have all the answers.

    You don’t need to be on fire to be walking in purpose.

    And you don’t need to rush something that’s already yours.

    This isn’t stuck.

    This is where your wings are being stretched.

    This is where your prayers are gaining roots.

    This is where power is being woven into your stillness.

    This… is preparation.

  • The Soft Power Strategy of Stillness: Why Not Reacting is Sometimes Your Loudest Move

    The Soft Power Strategy of Stillness: Why Not Reacting is Sometimes Your Loudest Move

    There are moments where silence holds more weight than any speech, more power than any comeback. I didn’t always understand that. I used to think that if I didn’t speak up immediately, I was weak. If I didn’t defend myself, I was letting them win. If I didn’t react, I didn’t care. But I’ve learned that stillness isn’t the absence of power—it’s the mastering of it.

    There was a version of me who couldn’t let anything slide. Who had to explain, defend, fix, over-express, over-explain, overextend. I gave away so much of my energy trying to control how I was perceived, trying to make sure people understood me, trying to avoid being misunderstood. But it cost me peace. And it cost me presence. I was so busy reacting that I couldn’t feel the calm that existed in simply letting things be.

    Stillness is strategy. And for women—especially women who have had to be in survival mode—it’s a reclaiming of something sacred. Because we’ve been taught to always do. Always say something. Always be productive. Always respond. Always fix it. Always manage everyone’s emotions. But what happens when you stop? When you choose to be still, even when it burns?

    I remember a recent situation where someone tried to bait me into a reaction. They wanted to provoke me, twist my words, pull me into chaos. And for a moment, I almost let it work. The old me—the version that needed to prove her worth—was about to come out swinging. But something in me paused. I took a breath. And I said nothing. Not because I was weak. But because I knew I didn’t owe them access to my energy.

    Stillness, in that moment, was strength. It was a declaration. A boundary. A line in the sand that said: I don’t move unless I choose to. I don’t explain myself to people committed to misunderstanding me. I don’t play games in a space I’ve outgrown. I don’t chase clarity where chaos lives.

    The feminine in me knew better. She knew that power doesn’t always come with sound. Sometimes, it comes in silence. Sometimes, the softest thing you can do is also the most radical. To say nothing, to walk away, to remain unmoved—not because you don’t feel anything, but because you finally trust yourself enough to hold what you’re feeling with grace.

    Stillness isn’t passive. It’s powerful. It’s the space where you choose yourself over the need to be right. It’s where you release control, not because you’ve given up, but because you’ve risen above. It’s where you remember that not everything deserves a response, and not everyone deserves a seat at your table.

    It’s in that space—between the trigger and the response—that we reclaim our soft power. That we remind ourselves we are not puppets pulled by strings of emotion or insecurity. We are the string-cutters. The pattern-breakers. The peace-holders. And that means knowing when to speak and when to stay still.

    There will always be noise. Always be drama. Always be people who try to test your growth. But you don’t have to take the bait. You don’t have to prove how far you’ve come. Let your peace do the talking. Let your energy be too expensive for nonsense. Let your stillness become your softest—and strongest—move yet.

    With love-

    Evelyn

  • The Feminine Reset: 5 Ways to Tap Back Into Your Power This Season

    The Feminine Reset: 5 Ways to Tap Back Into Your Power This Season

    There’s something about this time of year—when the days stretch a little longer and the air feels a little softer—that calls us to pause. To exhale. To remember who we are underneath all the roles, routines, and masks we wear just to get through the day.

    I used to think I needed a major life change to reset.

    A move. A breakup. A brand-new identity.

    But I’ve learned that sometimes the most powerful shift doesn’t come from running away—

    It comes from returning to yourself.

    This is your reminder: You don’t need to reinvent your entire life to come alive again.

    Sometimes, you just need to reset your energy—and let your feminine power rise back to the surface.

    What Is a Feminine Reset?

    It’s not productivity. It’s not perfection.

    It’s a deep exhale. A surrender. A soft power strategy.

    It’s choosing to nourish your inner world instead of constantly performing in the outer one.

    A feminine reset isn’t about changing everything.

    It’s about remembering the version of you who felt whole, even in her quiet moments.

    And if you’re ready to find her again, here’s where you can begin:

    1. Make Space for Stillness

    In a world that glorifies the grind, choosing stillness is a radical act.

    But stillness is where clarity lives. It’s where your intuition gets louder than the noise.

    Try this:

    • Turn off your phone for an hour

    • Sit in silence and breathe—no music, no scrolling, just you

    • Journal what comes up without censoring yourself

    Your soul has been trying to get a word in. Stillness lets her speak.

    2. Romanticize the Ordinary

    There is sacred power in how you pour your morning tea.

    In how you oil your skin. In the way you dress, even if no one’s watching.

    Feminine power isn’t always loud—it’s often felt in the details.

    Create beauty around you. Make your life a ceremony.

    Not for anyone else—but because you are worth the effort.

    3. Nourish Your Body Without Punishment

    This season, feed your body like it’s your best friend.

    Not like it’s a problem to be solved.

    Your softness is not a flaw. Your cravings are not weaknesses.

    Ask yourself:

    • What would feel nourishing right now?

    • What would bring more pleasure to this moment?

    Honor that. And stop apologizing for your desires.

    4. Reignite Your Sacred Yes (and Unapologetic No)

    There is so much power in your boundaries.

    Saying no is self-respect. Saying yes, from a place of truth, is liberation.

    Don’t say yes to what drains you.

    Don’t say no to what lights you up out of fear of judgment.

    Reclaim your discernment. Your intuition already knows what’s aligned.

    5. Call Your Energy Back to You

    At the end of each day—or after any interaction that leaves you feeling “off”—pause and say:

    “I call all of my energy back to me.

    Anything that is mine, return home.

    Anything that is not, I release with love.”

    Visualize your energy returning.

    Golden. Soft. Powerful.

    Let it fill your body and settle into your heart.

    You don’t have to be everything for everyone.

    But you do need to be everything for yourself.

    A Reset Isn’t a Breakdown—It’s a Rebirth

    You’re not behind.

    You’re not too late.

    You’re just ready to begin again—with more intention, more softness, and more power than before.

    This is your season to reset.

    Not to hustle or prove, but to feel, to breathe, to realign.

    And in doing so—you’ll remember just how powerful you’ve always been.

  • Unapologetic Woman: The Cost of Playing Small and the Power in Taking Up Space

    Unapologetic Woman: The Cost of Playing Small and the Power in Taking Up Space

    There was a time in my life when I mastered the art of shrinking.

    Not physically, of course—but emotionally, energetically, and spiritually. I made myself smaller in conversations so I wouldn’t be “too much.” I muted my opinions so I wouldn’t come off as “difficult.” I accepted crumbs, thinking I didn’t deserve the full meal. I apologized for taking up space. For having needs. For wanting more.

    And I didn’t even realize how loud my silence had become.

    The Subtle Ways We Shrink

    Playing small doesn’t always look like failure—it often looks like “being easy to deal with.” It looks like:

    • Agreeing when your spirit disagrees

    • Smiling when you’re hurting

    • Minimizing your accomplishments so no one feels “less than”

    • Staying in rooms that no longer value your presence

    • Shrinking your dreams because someone else can’t see your vision

    And it chips away at you. Quietly.

    Until one day, you don’t recognize the woman you’ve become.

    The Breaking Point Wasn’t Loud—It Was a Whisper

    It didn’t happen all at once. It was subtle. Soft. A conversation where I felt invisible. A job where my voice didn’t matter. A relationship where I poured and poured until I had nothing left. I remember sitting in my car thinking: I don’t think I’ve ever truly chosen myself.

    I had been making peace offerings with my power.

    Every time I stayed quiet, every time I settled—I was negotiating my worth.

    The Lie We’re Told: That Power Makes Us Unlovable

    They tell women to be humble, soft-spoken, agreeable. To let others lead.

    But I’ve learned that real love never asks you to be less of yourself.

    And any space that requires your silence is not a safe space—it’s a cage.

    The truth is:

    You’re not intimidating. They’re just not used to a woman who doesn’t apologize for being whole.

    You’re not “too much.” You’re simply more than they’re ready to receive.

    You’re not dramatic. You’re just finally being honest.

    Taking Up Space is a Power Move—Not a Personality Flaw

    When I stopped playing small, I didn’t become aggressive—I became honest. I started asking for what I needed. I raised my standards. I said no without guilt. I stopped watering myself down and started blooming where I was planted—even if no one clapped for me.

    Taking up space means:

    • Walking into a room and knowing you belong without needing permission

    • Reclaiming your time, your energy, your voice

    • Owning your power without fear of rejection

    • Allowing yourself to be fully expressed—soft and strong, bold and kind

    And that’s what scares people.

    Not your flaws. Not your past.

    But the fact that you’re no longer afraid to own your light.

    To the Woman Who’s Been Playing Small: It’s Time

    You weren’t born to dim.

    You weren’t made to shrink.

    And you were never meant to blend in.

    I know it’s scary to take up space when the world teaches you to disappear.

    But every time you choose yourself, you show another woman what’s possible.

    And that’s how we rise—together.

    A Soft Power Affirmation

    I am no longer available for spaces that silence me.

    I do not dim. I do not shrink.

    I rise. I radiate. I take up space with grace.

    You are not asking for too much.

    You are finally asking from a place that knows her worth.

    And that, my love, changes everything.

  • Reclaiming Your Radiance: How to Return to Yourself After Emotional Burnout

    Reclaiming Your Radiance: How to Return to Yourself After Emotional Burnout

    There was a season in my life where I didn’t recognize myself in the mirror. Not in the poetic, I’ve-evolved kind of way. I mean I literally couldn’t find the light in my eyes. I was showing up for everyone—my kids, my job, my relationship, the expectations—and somehow, I forgot how to show up for me.

    Some mornings, I would wake up and stare at the ceiling, knowing I had things to do… but feeling like I was underwater. I knew how to function, but I didn’t know how to feel. I’d smile at people and check off tasks, but inside, I felt numb. Drained. Hollow. Burnt out in ways that no amount of sleep or self-care Sundays could fix.

    This wasn’t laziness. It wasn’t weakness. It was emotional burnout. And it was eating away at my radiance.

    What Burnout Really Steals From You

    Burnout doesn’t just drain your energy—it steals your sense of self.

    You stop laughing like you used to. You stop dancing in the kitchen. You forget what it’s like to be soft because you’ve had to be so strong. You start settling—not because you want less, but because you’re too tired to fight for more.

    And no one really talks about how lonely that place is.

    Because you don’t look “broken.” You’re functioning. You’re surviving.

    But inside, you feel like a stranger to yourself.

    The Moment I Knew I Had to Come Home to Myself

    There was a night—I remember it vividly—I sat in the parking lot of a gas station crying into the steering wheel. I had just left a conversation where I made myself small again. I kept my peace at the cost of my truth. And I thought… when did I become okay with that?

    I wasn’t okay. I just didn’t know how to stop pretending.

    That night, I whispered out loud: “I want to come back to me.”

    And I meant it.

    The Feminine Way Back: Not a Hustle, But a Return

    Reclaiming your radiance doesn’t come from doing more—it comes from being more honest.

    You don’t have to light a hundred candles, meditate for 45 minutes, or book a solo trip to Bali to find yourself again. Sometimes, coming home to yourself looks like:

    • Saying no without overexplaining.

    • Wearing something soft and beautiful just because it makes you feel like you.

    • Turning off your phone for an hour and letting your body rest.

    • Letting yourself cry without needing a reason.

    • Laughing—really laughing—at something ridiculous.

    • Admitting that you’ve been hurting.

    • Letting someone show up for you for once.

    Soft Power Isn’t Loud—It’s Liberating

    They told us we had to be strong. That we had to push through. That softness was weakness.

    But I’m learning that there is nothing more powerful than a woman who reclaims her softness after being hardened by life. Nothing more radiant than a woman who glows again after going dim. Nothing more magnetic than a woman who’s not trying to prove anything—but has returned to her truth.

    And the truth is: your radiance was never gone.

    It was just buried beneath the burnout.

    You’re still in there. And you’re worth coming back to.

    A Soft Invitation to You

    If you’re reading this and it feels familiar—if you’re tired of being tired, tired of being everything for everyone but nothing for yourself—I want you to ask yourself gently:

    What would it look like for me to come home to myself this week?

    Not all at once. Not perfectly.

    Just one tiny moment where you choose you again.

    Because the world needs your light.

    But more than that, you need your light.

    And it’s never too late to turn it back on.

  • Your Presence is the Power

    Your Presence is the Power

    The most magnetic women don’t force attention. They don’t chase. They don’t beg.

    They simply exist in their power, and people feel it.

    Your presence alone should shift a room—not because you’re loud, not because you’re trying to be seen, but because you are deeply rooted in yourself. Your energy, your confidence, your very essence speaks before you ever say a word.

    But here’s the thing: If you don’t own your presence, no one else will.

    Owning Your Presence Starts With You

    Magnetic energy isn’t about arrogance. It’s about certainty. It’s about knowing exactly who you are and carrying yourself with an unshakable sense of self-worth.

    Here’s how you cultivate that level of presence:

    1. Know Who You Are – Confidence isn’t about proving anything; it’s about being so grounded in yourself that validation becomes irrelevant.

    2. Master the Art of Stillness – You don’t need to constantly be doing or saying something to be powerful. The most influential people can command a room simply by being in it.

    3. Speak with Intention – The most powerful people aren’t the ones who talk the most, but the ones who speak with purpose. Don’t waste words—make them count.

    4. Walk Like You Belong – Even if you feel out of place, move like you don’t. Your energy will make space for you.

    5. Be Selective with Your Energy – Not everyone deserves access to you. Your presence is valuable—treat it that way.

    The Silent Power of an Unbothered Woman

    When a woman truly owns her presence, she doesn’t seek validation. She doesn’t shrink. She doesn’t overexplain.

    She just is.

    And that alone? Is enough to make the right people notice.

    When you stop trying to be seen and start embodying your power, people will feel the difference. They won’t be able to ignore you.

    Because presence is energy. Presence is power.

    And when you truly step into it, the world will adjust to you.