The Soft Power Journal

Category: Boundaries & Voice

  • You Can’t Shame Me Into Shrinking: The Bold Return to Wholeness

    You Can’t Shame Me Into Shrinking: The Bold Return to Wholeness

    There comes a point in your journey where you stop internalizing the projections of others. You stop negotiating with shame. You stop apologizing for the space you take up, the truth you carry, or the softness you’ve reclaimed.

    Because here’s the truth: people will try to shame you for evolving. They will try to guilt you for growing. They will call your boundaries selfish, your clarity cold, your joy arrogant, and your confidence too much.

    But when you’ve worked for your wholeness—when you’ve bled for your peace, broken generational patterns, and peeled back layers of trauma just to breathe without flinching—why would you ever let someone else’s comfort cost you your healing?

    You don’t owe anyone a diluted version of you just because they haven’t met themselves yet.

    The Lie of Shame and the Cost of Shrinking

    Shame is a tool that keeps us small. It’s weaponized silence. It’s the mechanism of a society that benefits from you staying broken and busy trying to prove your worth. When you shrink, you become easier to manage. When you doubt yourself, you’re easier to control. When you stay quiet, you’re less of a threat.

    But the real threat was never your voice. It was your becoming.

    Let them feel uncomfortable. Let them confront their own limitations when they stand in the presence of someone who has chosen truth, alignment, and softness as her new baseline.

    This isn’t arrogance. This is reclamation.

    You Were Never Too Much—You Were Just Misunderstood

    Your softness isn’t weakness. Your power isn’t a problem. Your presence isn’t a disruption. It’s medicine—for you, and for those with the courage to receive it.

    So if they try to shame you back into silence… keep speaking.

    If they try to guilt you back into pleasing… keep honoring your truth.

    If they try to box you into a version of yourself you’ve outgrown… keep walking.

    You don’t need to dim your light to keep other people comfortable in their shadows.

    You’ve earned your wholeness. Keep it.

    This post is part of the September series on The Soft Power Journal. Keep exploring the truths that help you return to yourself, without apology.

  • Unapologetic Woman: The Cost of Playing Small and the Power in Taking Up Space

    Unapologetic Woman: The Cost of Playing Small and the Power in Taking Up Space

    There was a time in my life when I mastered the art of shrinking.

    Not physically, of course—but emotionally, energetically, and spiritually. I made myself smaller in conversations so I wouldn’t be “too much.” I muted my opinions so I wouldn’t come off as “difficult.” I accepted crumbs, thinking I didn’t deserve the full meal. I apologized for taking up space. For having needs. For wanting more.

    And I didn’t even realize how loud my silence had become.

    The Subtle Ways We Shrink

    Playing small doesn’t always look like failure—it often looks like “being easy to deal with.” It looks like:

    • Agreeing when your spirit disagrees

    • Smiling when you’re hurting

    • Minimizing your accomplishments so no one feels “less than”

    • Staying in rooms that no longer value your presence

    • Shrinking your dreams because someone else can’t see your vision

    And it chips away at you. Quietly.

    Until one day, you don’t recognize the woman you’ve become.

    The Breaking Point Wasn’t Loud—It Was a Whisper

    It didn’t happen all at once. It was subtle. Soft. A conversation where I felt invisible. A job where my voice didn’t matter. A relationship where I poured and poured until I had nothing left. I remember sitting in my car thinking: I don’t think I’ve ever truly chosen myself.

    I had been making peace offerings with my power.

    Every time I stayed quiet, every time I settled—I was negotiating my worth.

    The Lie We’re Told: That Power Makes Us Unlovable

    They tell women to be humble, soft-spoken, agreeable. To let others lead.

    But I’ve learned that real love never asks you to be less of yourself.

    And any space that requires your silence is not a safe space—it’s a cage.

    The truth is:

    You’re not intimidating. They’re just not used to a woman who doesn’t apologize for being whole.

    You’re not “too much.” You’re simply more than they’re ready to receive.

    You’re not dramatic. You’re just finally being honest.

    Taking Up Space is a Power Move—Not a Personality Flaw

    When I stopped playing small, I didn’t become aggressive—I became honest. I started asking for what I needed. I raised my standards. I said no without guilt. I stopped watering myself down and started blooming where I was planted—even if no one clapped for me.

    Taking up space means:

    • Walking into a room and knowing you belong without needing permission

    • Reclaiming your time, your energy, your voice

    • Owning your power without fear of rejection

    • Allowing yourself to be fully expressed—soft and strong, bold and kind

    And that’s what scares people.

    Not your flaws. Not your past.

    But the fact that you’re no longer afraid to own your light.

    To the Woman Who’s Been Playing Small: It’s Time

    You weren’t born to dim.

    You weren’t made to shrink.

    And you were never meant to blend in.

    I know it’s scary to take up space when the world teaches you to disappear.

    But every time you choose yourself, you show another woman what’s possible.

    And that’s how we rise—together.

    A Soft Power Affirmation

    I am no longer available for spaces that silence me.

    I do not dim. I do not shrink.

    I rise. I radiate. I take up space with grace.

    You are not asking for too much.

    You are finally asking from a place that knows her worth.

    And that, my love, changes everything.