The Soft Power Journal

Category: Healing & Transformation

  • How to Let Go Without Shaming Who You Were

    How to Let Go Without Shaming Who You Were

    Let’s be real.

    There are parts of us we don’t always like to revisit.

    Versions of ourselves that feel… messy.

    The one who settled. The one who stayed too long. The one who didn’t know her worth yet.

    And sometimes, when we’re trying to evolve, it’s easy to look back on her and cringe.

    But here’s the truth most people won’t say:

    You can’t fully become who you’re meant to be if you’re still shaming who you used to be.

    That version of you?

    She was surviving with what she knew.

    She was loving with what she had.

    She was doing her best, even when it wasn’t perfect.

    This isn’t about bypassing accountability. It’s about holding your past self with compassion instead of a gavel.

    Because we love to post about healing.

    We love to talk about “leveling up.”

    But sometimes, healing looks like visiting the girl you used to be—not to judge her, but to thank her.

    Because without her choices, her mistakes, her heartbreaks… you wouldn’t be here.

    She may have been lost, but she was still leading you home.

    I used to shame the parts of me that let things slide.

    That overextended. That kept trying to prove I was worth loving.

    But the more I tried to erase her, the more stuck I felt.

    I realized that real growth isn’t just about letting go.

    It’s about letting go with love.

    That means:

    Not deleting her, but integrating her.

    Not rolling your eyes at her, but thanking her for her lessons.

    Not hiding her, but understanding her needs

    So how do you let go without the shame?

    1. Change the story.

    Instead of: “I can’t believe I let that happen.”

    Try: “That version of me didn’t know what I know now—and that’s okay.”

    2. Write her a letter.

    Not a letter of blame, but of closure.

    Tell her what you’ve learned. Tell her what you’re proud of her for.

    Tell her she can rest now.

    3. Speak to her gently.

    When that old pattern shows up, don’t yell at it.

    Whisper: I see you. I know what you’re trying to protect me from. But we’re safe now.

    4. Don’t rush the release.

    Letting go isn’t a one-time act—it’s a practice.

    Every time you choose differently, you’re releasing her a little more.

    5. Mirror her with love.

    Stand in front of your reflection and say:

    I forgive you. I love you. I honor what you were trying to do for me.

    You don’t have to hate who you were to become who you’re meant to be.

    You just have to let her be human.

    You just have to soften the edges around the memories.

    You just have to hold her long enough to say: Thank you… but I’m ready now.

    This is how you move on—with grace, not guilt.

    This is how you release the weight without rejecting your roots.

    This is how you heal with softness, not shame.

    You don’t need to punish your past to claim your future.

    You just need to let go… gently.

  • Celebrating Self-Love on Valentine’s Eve: A Heartfelt Tribute to the Love We Give Ourselves

    Celebrating Self-Love on Valentine’s Eve: A Heartfelt Tribute to the Love We Give Ourselves

    As Valentine’s Day approaches, we’re surrounded by reminders of love—roses, chocolates, and grand gestures of affection. But before we pour our hearts out to others, let’s take a moment to pour love into ourselves. This Valentine’s Eve, I’m choosing to celebrate something that I’ve truly come to cherish: myself.

    Instead of focusing on romantic love, I’m choosing to honor the love I’ve learned to give myself. I’m going solo to watch the Moulin Rouge musical, with amazing seats and a killer outfit that’s going to make me feel unstoppable. It’s a day to honor the love I’ve learned to give myself, the love I truly deserve.

    The Deep Power of Self-Love

    For so long, I believed that the only way I was worthy of love was if someone else gave it to me. I would cry and pray, asking for someone to notice me, want me, choose me—never realizing that the person I was searching for was me. I wanted so badly to feel loved and wanted, and I looked outward for that fulfillment. But over time, I realized that the love I was craving had to come from within first.

    Spending time alone used to be something I feared and felt ashamed of. I didn’t know how to enjoy my own company. But today, I can confidently say that I’ve learned to embrace it. I am my own best company, and that’s where my true peace comes from. I’ve found joy in being with myself—learning about what makes me feel alive, laughing freely in my own space, and nurturing my own spirit. I’ve finally learned to love myself unconditionally.

    The Ripple Effect of Self-Love

    There was a time I didn’t know how to be alone with myself without feeling broken or incomplete. I believed that love had to come from outside of me. But what I’ve learned through self-reflection, growth, and healing is that love isn’t about waiting for someone to choose me. It’s about choosing myself first.

    Self-love isn’t just about a moment of self-care. It’s about radically accepting yourself, flaws and all. It’s about taking time to nourish your soul and understand that you deserve the same compassion and kindness you offer others. It’s about acknowledging your strength, your resilience, and the undeniable force you are in this world.

    Spending time with ourselves isn’t a curse or a sign of loneliness—it’s a privilege and a blessing. A moment to genuinely and truly spend time with the most important person ever—ourselves. Alone time is a gift—a time to be with the most important person in my life: me. It’s not about being alone, it’s about being at peace with myself, embracing all that I am.

    A Challenge for You

    This Valentine’s Eve, I challenge you to pause and reflect on the power you already hold within. Celebrate your essence. Celebrate the battles you’ve fought and the victories you’ve earned. Celebrate the incredible woman you are.

    Here are a few things you can do to truly celebrate yourself—things that might not seem obvious, but will deeply nourish your spirit:

    • Write a love letter to yourself: This isn’t just about acknowledging your accomplishments. Write about everything you love about yourself, from your quirks to your courage. Pour your heart out and remind yourself why you’re amazing.

    • Unplug for an hour: Disconnect from your phone, social media, and any distractions. Take that time to meditate, journal, or simply breathe and enjoy the silence. Let your mind and body rest without the constant input from the world around you.

    • Take yourself on a date: Go somewhere you’ve been meaning to visit but haven’t yet. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant, but it should be something you love—whether it’s a walk in nature, a visit to an art exhibit, or having coffee at a local café.

    • Do something creative: Whether it’s painting, writing, singing, or even crafting, let yourself get lost in the joy of creating without expectations or judgment. Create for the pure pleasure of creating.

    • Treat yourself to something special: Buy that book you’ve been eyeing or the self-care item you deserve. Pamper yourself with a bath, a face mask, or any little luxury you’ve been neglecting.

    • Set a new goal: Celebrate yourself by taking action. Is there something you’ve been thinking about doing but haven’t yet? Now is the time to take that first step towards your dreams.

    As you step into Valentine’s Day, promise yourself that this love will never stop. You are deserving of endless love, unshakable respect, and unwavering kindness—and it starts with you.

    Happy Valentine’s Eve. You are worthy of all the love the world has to offer, but most importantly, you are worthy of the love that begins with you. The love you seek will always begin with the love you give yourself first.