The Soft Power Journal

Tag: Empowerment

  • Excuses Keep You Stuck: What Are You Still Justifying?

    Excuses Keep You Stuck: What Are You Still Justifying?

    We’ve all done it—defended a choice we outgrew, justified someone’s inconsistency, or explained away our own resistance to growth. But let’s call it what it is: an excuse is still an excuse, no matter how spiritual or intellectual we dress it up to be.

    There’s a difference between honoring your process and avoiding your power. One is rooted in grace. The other in fear.

    Sometimes the most dangerous thing isn’t the habit or the person—it’s the narrative we create around it. The one that lets us stay a little longer in the place we no longer belong. The one that says, “I’m just being patient,” when what we’re really doing is procrastinating on our potential. The one that says, “Maybe they’ll change,” when we know good and well they already showed us who they are.

    The truth? Excuses keep you safe, but they also keep you small. And there comes a point in your journey when protecting your softness requires the kind of structure that no longer allows you to run in circles. When being the woman you prayed to become demands you stop justifying the very things keeping you from her.

    You’re allowed to change your mind. You’re allowed to grow. And you are especially allowed to outgrow the stories that no longer serve you.

    So ask yourself gently—but honestly:

    What are you still explaining away?

    Who are you still making room for that isn’t showing up?

    What are you still calling timing that’s really avoidance?

    You don’t have to shame yourself. You just have to be real enough to call it.

    The moment you stop making excuses is the moment you start making room—for your next level, your next blessing, your next version of you.

    Because liberation doesn’t come with a permission slip. It comes with a decision.

  • Stop Asking for Permission to Be Free

    Stop Asking for Permission to Be Free

    There comes a moment in every woman’s life when she realizes no one is coming to hand her the life she deserves. Not because she isn’t worthy of it—but because freedom isn’t handed out. It’s chosen. It’s embodied. And it’s claimed.

    And maybe that moment is now.

    Maybe you’re tired of asking for validation that never comes. Tired of softening your edges just to make others more comfortable. Tired of shrinking the parts of you that are already whole.

    You don’t need permission to be bold.

    You don’t need permission to be soft.

    You don’t need permission to be free.

    Somewhere along the line, we were conditioned to wait—to be polite, to be palatable, to stay small until someone told us it was okay to take up space. We were taught to earn rest. To earn love. To earn softness. But freedom was never something you had to earn. It’s your birthright.

    Let this be the moment you stop performing for approval.

    Let this be the moment you stop negotiating your becoming.

    Let this be the moment you stop explaining your expansion.

    You are not too much. You are not too fast. You are not too sensitive, too loud, too bold, too soft, too anything. You are just… you. And that is more than enough.

    Freedom isn’t loud, always. Sometimes it’s quiet. Sometimes it looks like logging off. Saying no. Changing your mind. Taking the long way. Not having to justify your joy.

    But always, always—freedom is yours to choose.

    So stop asking for permission to walk away.

    To do it differently.

    To change your pace.

    To rewrite the story.

    To be seen, held, and honored as you are.

    Because if you’re waiting for the world to make room for your becoming, you’ll wait forever. Make room for yourself first. The world will adjust.

    You are free.

    Not because they said so—

    But because you finally did.

  • You’re Not Too Much—They Were Just Too Small

    You’re Not Too Much—They Were Just Too Small

    There’s a lie that so many of us, especially women, have been fed since the beginning:

    That we have to shrink in order to be loved.

    That our softness is a burden.

    That our strength makes us intimidating.

    That our emotions are too much.

    And what happens when you hear that lie enough times?

    You start trying to edit yourself.

    You overthink every word, every feeling, every truth your body wants to speak.

    You start shrinking in places where you were born to rise.

    But let me tell you something—and I want you to read this slow:

    You were never too much.

    You were never too sensitive.

    You were never too emotional, too bold, too loud, too honest.

    They were just too small to hold the fullness of you.

    You weren’t asking for too much—you were just asking the wrong people.

    The truth is, being deeply connected to yourself and your truth is a gift. Not everyone will know what to do with that. And that’s not your burden to carry. That’s their limitation. Their emotional immaturity. Their discomfort with intimacy. Their unhealed parts reacting to your wholeness. And you do not have to apologize for that.

    In fact, one of the softest, most feminine things you can do is release the need to be understood by everyone.

    Let them misunderstand you. Let them label you. Let them make assumptions.

    You’re not here to be digestible.

    You’re here to be true.

    You don’t have to justify your tears.

    You don’t have to explain why you care so deeply.

    You don’t need to prove your softness isn’t weakness.

    The ones who are meant to see you—will.

    The ones who can hold space for all of you won’t flinch when you bring your full self to the table.

    You don’t need to shrink. You need to stretch.

    You don’t need to quiet down. You need to get louder.

    And not in volume—but in presence. In truth. In power.

    This post isn’t about clapping back.

    It’s about calling yourself forward.

    So let me ask you:

    Where are you still shrinking to fit?

    Who are you editing yourself for?

    What version of you are you finally ready to reclaim?

    This is your permission slip.

    To take up space.

    To show up fully.

    To be both gentle and powerful.

    To be seen, felt, heard—and deeply respected.

    And if someone calls that “too much”?

    Tell them this: “I’m not too much. You’re just not enough for me.”

    Let that be your standard. Let that be your liberation.

    ✨ Let this post be your reminder: softness is not weakness, and your truth deserves room. Continue your journey through power, presence, and radical softness at The Soft Power Journal.

  • Dear Former Me-Thank You for Letting Go

    Dear Former Me-Thank You for Letting Go

    Dear Former Me,

    I know how hard you tried to hold it all together.

    Even when your heart was tired.

    Even when your spirit whispered this isn’t it—you still leaned in, still hoped, still made space for someone who wasn’t ready to meet you there.

    I saw how you twisted yourself into softer shapes,

    how you over-explained just to feel seen,

    how you called silence patience and tension love.

    You didn’t want to walk away. You wanted it to work.

    But deep down, I know you knew:

    love shouldn’t feel like negotiating your worth.

    So thank you—for finally letting go.

    Not in anger. Not in resentment.

    But in clarity.

    You let go of needing to be chosen.

    You let go of shrinking your needs.

    You let go of waiting for someone else to grow.

    And in doing that,

    you came back home to yourself.

    I know it hurt.

    But you learned to stop interpreting distance as your fault.

    You stopped calling someone’s emotional unavailability a challenge to overcome.

    You stopped begging for presence in the form of crumbs.

    You stopped settling for almost.

    Thank you for the nights you cried but didn’t reach back out.

    Thank you for choosing peace over potential.

    Thank you for walking away, not because you stopped caring—

    but because you finally started caring about yourself more.

    Because of you, I don’t abandon myself anymore.

    I no longer confuse mixed signals for magic.

    I no longer carry the weight of their unreadiness.

    I no longer perform for love I deserve to receive with ease.

    So thank you.

    You didn’t fail.

    You finally honored the version of you who’s been waiting to be free.

    With so much pride,

    Evelyn

  • Celebrating Your Growth: How Far Have You Come?

    Celebrating Your Growth: How Far Have You Come?

    Disappointment is something we all face at some point in our lives. Whether it’s missing an opportunity, facing a setback, or having expectations that don’t align with reality, it’s a feeling that can leave us heartbroken, frustrated, and uncertain about the future. But what if we embraced disappointment as an opportunity for growth, learning, and self-discovery? What if we could see the beauty in letting go and allowing life to unfold as it’s meant to, even when things don’t go as planned?

    Acknowledging the Small Wins:

    It’s so easy to brush off the small wins. We tend to focus on the big accomplishments, the massive goals, but what about the quiet victories that pave the way to those big moments? The small wins matter just as much. Whether it’s waking up 10 minutes earlier, sticking to a new habit, or simply speaking up when you usually stay quiet, these moments of growth should be celebrated.

    For example, I remember when I started setting boundaries with ease—a simple “no” was a victory in itself. I didn’t realize how empowering it was at the time, but looking back, I can see how that small act changed the way I show up for myself. It wasn’t a huge leap, but it was a step in the right direction. Every small victory is proof of how far you’ve come, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

    Ways to Celebrate Your Small Wins:

    You don’t have to wait for a big event or success to celebrate your growth. Here are a few ways you can start acknowledging and celebrating your small wins every day:

    1. Journal Your Progress: Write down one thing you accomplished today, no matter how small. Acknowledge the effort and celebrate it in your own way. 🌸

    2. Treat Yourself to Something You Love: Whether it’s a favorite meal, a relaxing bath, or taking time for a hobby, treat yourself as a reward for your growth. 💖

    3. Give Yourself a Compliment: Take a moment to look in the mirror and acknowledge your strength, progress, and resilience. Speak words of love and empowerment to yourself. 🌟

    4. Share Your Wins with Others: Sometimes, sharing your progress with a friend or loved one can amplify your joy and give you a sense of community and support. 🙌

    5. Take a Moment to Pause and Reflect: Stop for a moment during your day and acknowledge the small victories you’ve achieved. Savor that feeling of accomplishment. 🌿

    Reflecting on the Challenges You’ve Overcome:

    The road to growth is never smooth. It’s filled with challenges, obstacles, and setbacks that can sometimes feel overwhelming. But if we take a moment to reflect, we can see how those tough times shaped us, how they built our resilience and wisdom.

    There was a time when I was overwhelmed by challenges, and each setback felt like a failure. But as I grew, I realized that every challenge was a lesson in disguise. I learned to trust my strength, to be patient with myself, and to approach each obstacle with an open heart. The challenges that once seemed so difficult are now the experiences that I hold most dear because they’ve shaped who I am today. 💪

    Celebrating the Journey, Not Just the Destination:

    It’s easy to focus solely on the end goal—the destination we’re striving toward. But the truth is, the journey is where the magic happens. Growth isn’t just about checking off a to-do list or reaching a milestone. It’s about the lessons learned, the inner transformation, and the self-discovery that takes place along the way.

    Reflecting on my own journey, I can see how my goals and values have shifted over time. At one point, I was focused on external achievements—things like success, recognition, and approval. But as time passed, I realized that true growth was about nurturing my inner self, embracing the process, and finding joy in the present moment. The destination became less important than the person I was becoming along the way. ✨

    Being Proud of How Far You’ve Come:

    When was the last time you celebrated yourself for how far you’ve come? Most of us are quick to celebrate the successes of others, but we often fail to acknowledge our own progress. It’s time to change that.

    Think about all you’ve accomplished in the past year, month, or even week. Every small victory, every decision to show up for yourself, every lesson learned, deserves to be celebrated. You’ve made it this far, and that’s something to be proud of. You’ve faced your fears, pushed through challenges, and continued moving forward, even when it was hard. You are stronger than you know, and that strength is worth celebrating. 🦋

    I want to take this moment to say: you are doing amazing. Celebrate how far you’ve come and give yourself the credit you deserve. The journey isn’t easy, but every step forward is a triumph.

    Moving Forward with Confidence:

    Now, it’s time to look ahead. There’s so much more waiting for you, so many more lessons to be learned, and so much growth yet to come. The key is to keep moving forward with confidence, even if the path ahead seems uncertain.

    As you continue on your journey, know that growth doesn’t have to happen all at once. Small, consistent steps will eventually lead to big transformations. Trust the process, and trust that every step you take is bringing you closer to your highest self. 🌻

    Call to Action:

    I’d love to hear from you. Take a moment to reflect on your own journey—what are you proud of? What small victories have you celebrated along the way? Share your thoughts with me in the comments, and let’s continue to support and uplift each other as we celebrate our growth. 💬

    Growth isn’t always about reaching a destination—it’s about the journey, the lessons, and the person you become along the way. You are worthy of celebration for every step forward, no matter how small. Keep embracing the process, keep trusting yourself, and keep moving forward with confidence.

    You’ve come so far, and there’s so much more ahead. Celebrate yourself, because you deserve it. 🌸

  • The Art of Saying No: How Setting Boundaries Empowers You

    The Art of Saying No: How Setting Boundaries Empowers You

    Saying “no” can feel like one of the hardest things to do, especially when we are conditioned to please others, avoid conflict, or fear rejection. Society often praises selflessness, but sometimes, the most selfless act we can do for others—and ourselves—is to set boundaries. Saying “no” isn’t about rejecting others—it’s about preserving your own peace, protecting your energy, and honoring your own needs. It’s time to stop feeling guilty for protecting yourself.

    The Importance of Boundaries

    Boundaries are essential for mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Think of them as an invisible line that defines what is acceptable and what is not in our relationships, work, and personal lives. Setting boundaries helps us establish respect, both for ourselves and from others. When we honor our boundaries, we show ourselves love and care. It’s an act of self-respect, a way of honoring our personal space, and an essential component in building healthy relationships.

    Why Saying No Can Be So Difficult

    If you’ve ever struggled with saying no, you’re not alone. Many people struggle with the fear of rejection, the desire to please others, or feelings of guilt. Maybe you’ve said yes to things in the past, even when you didn’t want to, because you feared disappointing someone or appearing selfish. Society often teaches us that putting others first is a virtue. But the truth is, saying yes to everything is unsustainable and unhealthy. Saying no is a form of self-respect—it allows you to honor your own needs and take care of your well-being.

    The Empowerment of Saying No

    Saying no is one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but with practice, it becomes easier. When you say no, you take control of your life and reclaim your time and energy. You no longer allow external pressures or the needs of others to dictate your actions. Saying no allows you to prioritize your peace and well-being, leading to a more balanced, fulfilled life. Boundaries create a safe space for you to thrive, grow, and protect your emotional and physical health.

    How to Start Saying No (Tips and Strategies):

    1. Be Clear and Direct: When saying no, be confident and clear. You don’t need to over-explain. A simple “I need to focus on other priorities right now” is enough.

    2. Start Small: Begin practicing no in less challenging situations. The more you say no, the easier it becomes.

    3. Use “I” Statements: Take ownership of your choices. For example, “I need to take care of myself right now” instead of, “I can’t do this because of you.”

    4. Offer Alternatives (when appropriate): If it feels right, suggest an alternative, such as, “I can’t attend this time, but let’s catch up next week.”

    5. Pause Before Responding: If you’re unsure about a request, give yourself permission to pause before responding. It’s okay to take a moment to think and decide what’s best for you rather than reacting immediately. You can simply say, “Let me check my schedule, and I’ll get back to you.”

    6. Practice Self-Compassion: Understand that saying no doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. Be kind to yourself through this process. Acknowledge that setting boundaries is a form of self-care and it’s okay to say no without guilt. Remind yourself that your needs matter too.

    The Long-Term Benefits of Healthy Boundaries

    Setting boundaries leads to healthier relationships, better self-esteem, and improved emotional resilience. When you honor your own needs, you invite others to do the same. Healthy boundaries mean you are less likely to burn out, become resentful, or feel overwhelmed. In the long run, they empower you to live authentically, with a sense of self-respect that radiates outward. Boundaries protect your inner peace, foster growth, and allow you to show up as your best self for those around you.

    Personal Reflection

    I remember a time when saying no felt impossible to me. I was caught in a cycle of people-pleasing, constantly overcommitting to things I didn’t want to do. I found myself drained, frustrated, and even resentful, but I couldn’t stop. It wasn’t until I started practicing saying no that I realized how much I was sacrificing my peace for the approval of others. I began small—turning down an event I didn’t feel like attending—and the freedom I felt was so empowering. From that moment, I started saying no more often, and I felt more in control of my life. I realized that I don’t have to be everything to everyone—I just need to be true to myself.

    But it wasn’t always easy. There were moments when guilt would flood me, and I’d question my choices. I’d wonder if I was being selfish or disappointing people I cared about. I’d replay the conversations in my mind, worried that I was letting someone down. But then, in those quiet moments of self-reflection, I realized that the guilt was not a reflection of who I truly am. I wasn’t being selfish for prioritizing my well-being; I was being loving toward myself in a way I had never known how to do before. It took time to fully embrace that this was an act of self-respect, not self-sacrifice.

    What I didn’t expect was how much strength it would take to choose myself. There were times when I would face resistance from others or even internal doubts, but as I honored my boundaries, I began to heal. I started to trust that I am allowed to take up space, to say no, and to put myself first. And with that shift, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders, a lightness in my chest. I realized that I am worthy of peace, and I don’t have to sacrifice my happiness for anyone or anything.

    Call to Action

    I challenge you to reflect on where in your life you’re still saying yes out of guilt or fear. Are you overcommitting at work? Saying yes to obligations that drain your energy? Not setting clear boundaries with loved ones? Today, take one small step toward honoring your needs. Practice saying no when necessary, and give yourself permission to protect your peace. You deserve it.

    Ending on a note of empowerment

    Letting go of the guilt associated with saying no is an act of love and empowerment. You are not responsible for managing others’ emotions, bad behavior, or emotional baggage. You are responsible for how you choose to manage your stress, your reactions, and your emotional well-being. It’s time to step into your power and prioritize yourself. You are worthy of boundaries that protect your peace, and you have the right to say no when it aligns with your well-being.

    I see you, I hear you, and I value you. You are not alone in this journey. You are deserving of the peace, self-respect, and empowerment that comes from saying no and creating the boundaries that allow you to thrive.

  • The Power of Letting Go: Releasing What No Longer Serves You

    The Power of Letting Go: Releasing What No Longer Serves You

    Sometimes, the hardest thing we can do for ourselves is let go. We hold on to people, situations, and beliefs that no longer serve us, believing that holding on means we’re strong. But the truth is, the real power comes from the courage to release—to let go of what’s hurting us, what’s keeping us stuck, and what’s no longer aligned with the woman we’re becoming. Letting go isn’t weakness; it’s a radical act of self-love, one that allows you to release the chains that hold you back and make space for the abundance and joy meant for you.

    Why Letting Go is Essential for Growth:

    Growth is a messy, imperfect journey. It can feel like a battle we’re not prepared for, and sometimes we’re scared to face it. But here’s the truth I wish I’d known sooner: letting go is part of your growth story. Without it, you can’t fully evolve into the version of yourself that is free and capable of reaching your full potential.

    I remember countless nights lying awake, worried about what would happen if I finally let go. Would I lose myself? Would I have the courage to rebuild? Would I be forever alone? These fears held me captive for so long. I didn’t realize at the time that those fears were just illusions. What I discovered later is that letting go wasn’t the end—it was the beginning of something much more beautiful.

    When I allowed myself to release what no longer served me, I felt lighter. It was as if I could breathe again. Although the process wasn’t easy, it was empowering. Letting go became my ticket to reclaiming myself, my peace, and stepping into my own power. It’s a journey I wish I had embraced sooner.

    What to Let Go Of:

    1. Toxic Relationships:

    • One of the hardest things to do is to walk away from relationships that drain us. I held on for years, believing that loyalty meant staying—even when it was toxic. But staying in relationships that made me feel small or unappreciated only led me further away from my true self. Letting go of these relationships was one of the most challenging, but necessary steps I’ve taken to preserve my peace. It wasn’t just about walking away from others, but walking towards a life that honored who I am.

    2. Old Beliefs About Yourself:

    • How often do we hold on to limiting beliefs that keep us small? For years, I thought I wasn’t worthy of success, love, or true happiness. These false beliefs weighed me down and kept me from living the life I wanted. But the day I asked myself, “Why am I choosing to stay small?” everything shifted. I started to see my worth, my power, and my beauty in ways I hadn’t before. Letting go of those beliefs wasn’t immediate, but it was life-changing.

    3. Past Mistakes and Guilt:

    • I spent so much time living in regret. I couldn’t forgive myself for mistakes I’d made, things I couldn’t undo. But as I started to forgive myself, I realized that holding on to guilt was preventing me from moving forward. Letting go of regret has been a long journey, but it has brought me closer to peace, acceptance, and freedom.

    The Freedom You Gain from Letting Go:

    When we let go, we create space. Space for new opportunities, for healing, and for love. Letting go has given me freedom in so many ways—freedom from regret, freedom from the past, and the freedom to live in alignment with the woman I’m becoming. It has allowed me to step into my power, to trust in my own worth, and to finally believe that I deserve the life I’ve always dreamed of.

    How to Let Go:

    1. Acknowledge What Needs to Go:

    • The first step in letting go is recognizing what no longer serves you. Whether it’s a toxic relationship, an outdated belief, or a past mistake, acknowledging what needs to be released is crucial. Be honest with yourself and give yourself permission to let go.

    2. Let Yourself Feel:

    • Letting go isn’t just about rationalizing that something doesn’t serve you. It’s about feeling the emotions that come with it—anger, sadness, fear. Allow yourself to grieve. Give yourself permission to feel the sadness, anger, or fear. Feel it all so you can release it.

    3. Take Empowered Action:

    • After processing the emotions, take action. Whether it’s setting boundaries, speaking your truth, or forgiving yourself, every step you take toward letting go is an affirmation of your self-worth. You deserve a life filled with joy, love, and peace.

    The Importance of Managing Our Reactions:

    Here’s something that’s so crucial: we are not responsible for others’ emotions, bad behavior, or emotional baggage. We can’t control how others feel or act. What we are responsible for is how we choose to manage our stress, how we react to discomfort, disappointment, and stress.

    We often internalize other people’s emotional reactions, thinking we need to fix things, apologize, or take on their pain. But the truth is, we are only responsible for our own emotional landscape. We can choose how we react to stress, setbacks, or other people’s negative behaviors. We are not obligated to carry anyone else’s burdens but our own.

    By letting go of the weight of others’ emotions and focusing on how we manage ourselves in stressful situations, we free ourselves to respond with grace, clarity, and strength. We no longer need to take on the emotional burdens that are not ours to bear.

    Call to Action:

    I challenge you today to reflect on what you are holding onto. Is it a relationship, a belief, or a past mistake that’s keeping you stuck? Think about what you can release today, and make the conscious decision to let it go. When you do, you’ll create the space for all the amazing things that are meant for you.

    Letting go is not a sign of weakness; it’s an act of love, strength, and self-respect. It’s about releasing what no longer serves you and making room for something better. Remember, you are not responsible for others’ emotions, bad behavior, or emotional baggage. You are only responsible for how you manage your own emotions and reactions. When you choose to let go, you step into a future where you can shine as the fullest, most powerful version of yourself.

    Letting go isn’t just about the things you release—it’s about the life you make space for. You deserve freedom, peace, and joy. It’s time to let go of what no longer serves you and step into your full potential.

    A Personal Message:

    I want you to know that I see you. I hear you. I value you. This journey of letting go is not easy, and I honor the courage it takes to do so. Please remember, you are not alone in this process. We are all on this path together, learning and growing. And as you navigate the pain and release, always remember that you are worthy of everything good and beautiful that is waiting for you.

    You’ve got this. I believe in you.

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