The Soft Power Journal

Tag: Healing

  • Excuses Keep You Stuck: What Are You Still Justifying?

    Excuses Keep You Stuck: What Are You Still Justifying?

    We’ve all done it—defended a choice we outgrew, justified someone’s inconsistency, or explained away our own resistance to growth. But let’s call it what it is: an excuse is still an excuse, no matter how spiritual or intellectual we dress it up to be.

    There’s a difference between honoring your process and avoiding your power. One is rooted in grace. The other in fear.

    Sometimes the most dangerous thing isn’t the habit or the person—it’s the narrative we create around it. The one that lets us stay a little longer in the place we no longer belong. The one that says, “I’m just being patient,” when what we’re really doing is procrastinating on our potential. The one that says, “Maybe they’ll change,” when we know good and well they already showed us who they are.

    The truth? Excuses keep you safe, but they also keep you small. And there comes a point in your journey when protecting your softness requires the kind of structure that no longer allows you to run in circles. When being the woman you prayed to become demands you stop justifying the very things keeping you from her.

    You’re allowed to change your mind. You’re allowed to grow. And you are especially allowed to outgrow the stories that no longer serve you.

    So ask yourself gently—but honestly:

    What are you still explaining away?

    Who are you still making room for that isn’t showing up?

    What are you still calling timing that’s really avoidance?

    You don’t have to shame yourself. You just have to be real enough to call it.

    The moment you stop making excuses is the moment you start making room—for your next level, your next blessing, your next version of you.

    Because liberation doesn’t come with a permission slip. It comes with a decision.

  • Not Everyone Can Walk with You into Your Becoming

    Not Everyone Can Walk with You into Your Becoming

    There comes a point in your journey where your growth becomes too loud to ignore. Where your softness can no longer be mistaken for weakness. Where your soul starts shedding what no longer fits—not because it’s unkind, but because it’s misaligned.

    This is the part they don’t prepare you for.

    Not everyone can walk with you into your becoming.

    Some people are attached to the version of you that never said no. The version that bent over backwards. The one that tolerated crumbs, overlooked patterns, or kept the peace at the expense of her own.

    But becoming is disruptive.

    It reorders the entire room.

    It asks you to choose peace over people-pleasing.

    And in doing so, it naturally reveals who was only comfortable with your silence—not your truth.

    This kind of growth feels like grief. Not because you’re doing something wrong—but because you’re doing something right. You’re honoring the version of you that was always quietly waiting to be chosen by you.

    Letting go doesn’t always come with closure. Sometimes the closure is realizing that you kept the door open for people who were never planning to meet you on the other side.

    And that’s okay.

    Because this chapter isn’t about proving your worth. It’s about protecting it. It’s about becoming the kind of woman who no longer performs for proximity or settles for companionship that costs her clarity. It’s about walking away with your head high and your heart soft—knowing that your becoming will require you to outgrow what once felt like home.

    Let it.

    Let it shape you.

    Let it stretch you.

    Let it show you who’s really capable of loving you through your evolution.

    Because the ones who are meant to walk with you won’t need to be convinced. They’ll rise to meet you. Or they’ll fall away with grace.

    And both are a blessing.

  • Dear Former Me- I’m Pretty Sure I’m Invisible

    Dear Former Me- I’m Pretty Sure I’m Invisible

    Dear Former Me,

    You felt invisible today. Like the world kept moving and forgot you were in it. And for a second, you wondered if it’s true-that you’re forgettable, replaceable, too much and not enough all at once.

    But guess what? You still showed up. You smiled and played with your kids, still checked your bank account…. And then quickly regretted it hahaha. By the way… we need to get on top of our money. I know you like nice things because so do I, but remember what we’ve learned.. Material items do not replace presence and wealth is not the same as abundance.

    You helped someone today and it felt really good. You didn’t even realize you were helping them until they smiled at you and asked to give you a hug and cried at the same time. That definitely threw you for a loop.. But guess what? You didn’t pull away from it.. Maybe because deep down we both knew that in this crazy mess of a world, we’re all looking for connection and love. Truthfully? You probably need that hug more than them. 

    We need to show up for ourselves more. We need to stop pretending to have everything together. We really don’t and that’s ok. I’m starting to realize that we’re not meant to have everything together. That’s why God is there. God doesn’t want us to be perfect. He just needs us to be willing to try. Try to open our hearts, even when it’s scary. God never asks us to be perfect so why do we put that expectation on ourselves? Imperfection is why God loves us. It’s always what connects us to the world around us. Don’t be afraid to be imperfect. If you’re imperfect? That means you’re real. It means that you’re honest. And that means that you’re allowing God to work in your life. 

    Oh.. and girl, yes, you may feel invisible but I promise you that you’re not. It might not mean much now but I see you.. Always. And I promise you that I will never forget about you again. I love you. I really do. You’re amazing. Look at everything that we’ve been through. You survived group homes, treatment centers, juvie, sex trafficking, and being a runaway.. You were 9 at the time.. And now you’re a WHOLE adult. Not a half of one! A WHOLE one! That’s crazy.. Because we never thought we would make it here, but we did. And even if no one else saw you, I saw you. And I won’t ever allow us to see ourselves again. You’re not invisible. And you’re not alone. God has you. Just.. trust the process and trust yourself too while you’re at it and most importantly.. Remember, God’s plan. Not yours.

    I Love You Evelyn

  • Dear Former Me- Am I Enough?

    Dear Former Me- Am I Enough?

    Dear Former Me,

    Today was one of those days where you did everything you were supposed to do-

    And still felt like it wasn’t enough. You woke up tired, poured into everyone else, and somehow forgot to check in with yourself. Again.

    You’re not crazy for feeling like this. You’re not weak because it feels heavy. You’ve carried a lot for a long time, and sometimes, just standing upright is a victory. Try not to be so hard on yourself but we both know that’s not the easiest thing to do. No matter how far you’ve come, you still seem to have this little voice in your mind telling you  to do more, prove more, be someone better.. Or worse.. Someone else.

    I hate that for us to be completely honest. Life has been weird lately. It feels like everything is going in slow motion and the world is passing you by. You’re smiling.. Sure.. but your smile never quite reaches your eyes. And when you do smile.. It never feels genuine. It’s really hard to talk to anyone because nothing is actually wrong.. Well I mean.. Not technically. You have a good life. And you are extremely grateful.. So why does it still feel like you’re lost?

    I wish I had all those answers, but truthfully, I guess I’m still figuring them out myself. How did we get so disconnected from ourselves? I really hope that you know this feeling will pass. Even if it doesn’t seem like it. This version of you? The one with the tired heart? The one who keeps showing up for others in the midst of breaking internally? She’s worthy of love too. Please don’t forget that. You’re going somewhere.. Even if it doesn’t feel like it. She’s going somewhere beautiful. I know you don’t always see it.. But trust me.. You’re not really lost. Just keep trusting God and remember.. It’s his plan.. Not yours.

    I really love you. I know I don’t tell you that enough but I do. I hope this year, I can start showing up for you more. You deserve that.

    I love you Evelyn.

  • The Power of Walking Away: Why Detachment is Your Greatest Strength

    The Power of Walking Away: Why Detachment is Your Greatest Strength

    There’s a quiet power in the woman who knows when to leave.

    She doesn’t beg. She doesn’t linger. She doesn’t waste her energy trying to convince anyone of her worth. She just walks—gracefully, confidently, and without looking back.

    Detachment isn’t cold. It isn’t unfeeling. It’s an act of self-love, a declaration that you refuse to beg for what should be freely given. It’s understanding that your energy is sacred, and you won’t waste it trying to hold onto something or someone that isn’t for you.

    Why Detachment is a Superpower

    Women are often taught to endure. To be patient. To wait for people to change, for situations to improve, for love to be returned in the way it should have been given freely from the start. We are conditioned to think that fighting for something makes it more valuable, that suffering proves our devotion.

    But let’s be honest—how much energy have you wasted holding onto things that drained you? How many times have you convinced yourself that if you just tried harder, gave more, or shrank yourself into a more digestible version, things would finally work out?

    The truth is, the most powerful version of you isn’t the one who waits. It’s the one who walks away when her spirit tells her it’s time.

    Detachment is about refusing to engage in the struggle for validation. It’s recognizing that anything that truly aligns with you will never require force. And if you have to constantly prove your worth in a space, that space was never meant to hold you.

    The Art of Leaving Without Losing Yourself

    Walking away isn’t about avoidance or running from challenges. It’s about discernment. Knowing when to fight for something and when to let go is wisdom.

    Here’s how you master the power of detachment:

    1. Own Your Worth – You don’t need permission to be valued. If someone can’t see your magic, that’s their loss, not your failure.

    2. Release the Need for Closure – Sometimes, the closure you seek is in the leaving itself. Not every ending comes with a neat explanation.

    3. Trust the Shift – When things start feeling heavy, when you feel yourself forcing instead of flowing, trust that it’s time to move on.

    4. Prioritize Your Peace – If something costs you your inner peace, it’s too expensive. Your energy is your currency—spend it wisely.

    5. Let Actions Speak Louder – You don’t need to explain your departure. Your absence will say everything that words could never fully express.

    Leaving is Power, but Choosing Yourself is the Ultimate Win

    The world will tell you that staying is strength. That holding on is noble. But let me remind you: choosing yourself isn’t weakness—it’s the ultimate flex.

    When you walk away from anything that doesn’t honor you, you aren’t losing—you’re leveling up. You are shifting into a version of yourself that refuses to beg for what should be given freely.

    And that? That is where true power lies.

    So, if you’ve been feeling the pull to detach, if you’ve been hesitating on walking away from something that no longer serves you, take this as your sign. You don’t need to wait for permission to choose yourself.

    The real ones won’t make you chase. The right spaces won’t make you shrink. And the love that’s meant for you will never require you to prove that you’re worthy of it.

    So, Queen—walk away with your head high. Not as an act of defiance, but as an act of love. Because the moment you do? You’re already on your way to something greater.