The Soft Power Journal

Tag: Inner Peace

  • Dear Former Me-Thank You for Letting Go

    Dear Former Me-Thank You for Letting Go

    Dear Former Me,

    I know how hard you tried to hold it all together.

    Even when your heart was tired.

    Even when your spirit whispered this isn’t it—you still leaned in, still hoped, still made space for someone who wasn’t ready to meet you there.

    I saw how you twisted yourself into softer shapes,

    how you over-explained just to feel seen,

    how you called silence patience and tension love.

    You didn’t want to walk away. You wanted it to work.

    But deep down, I know you knew:

    love shouldn’t feel like negotiating your worth.

    So thank you—for finally letting go.

    Not in anger. Not in resentment.

    But in clarity.

    You let go of needing to be chosen.

    You let go of shrinking your needs.

    You let go of waiting for someone else to grow.

    And in doing that,

    you came back home to yourself.

    I know it hurt.

    But you learned to stop interpreting distance as your fault.

    You stopped calling someone’s emotional unavailability a challenge to overcome.

    You stopped begging for presence in the form of crumbs.

    You stopped settling for almost.

    Thank you for the nights you cried but didn’t reach back out.

    Thank you for choosing peace over potential.

    Thank you for walking away, not because you stopped caring—

    but because you finally started caring about yourself more.

    Because of you, I don’t abandon myself anymore.

    I no longer confuse mixed signals for magic.

    I no longer carry the weight of their unreadiness.

    I no longer perform for love I deserve to receive with ease.

    So thank you.

    You didn’t fail.

    You finally honored the version of you who’s been waiting to be free.

    With so much pride,

    Evelyn

  • The Art of Saying No: How Setting Boundaries Empowers You

    The Art of Saying No: How Setting Boundaries Empowers You

    Saying “no” can feel like one of the hardest things to do, especially when we are conditioned to please others, avoid conflict, or fear rejection. Society often praises selflessness, but sometimes, the most selfless act we can do for others—and ourselves—is to set boundaries. Saying “no” isn’t about rejecting others—it’s about preserving your own peace, protecting your energy, and honoring your own needs. It’s time to stop feeling guilty for protecting yourself.

    The Importance of Boundaries

    Boundaries are essential for mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Think of them as an invisible line that defines what is acceptable and what is not in our relationships, work, and personal lives. Setting boundaries helps us establish respect, both for ourselves and from others. When we honor our boundaries, we show ourselves love and care. It’s an act of self-respect, a way of honoring our personal space, and an essential component in building healthy relationships.

    Why Saying No Can Be So Difficult

    If you’ve ever struggled with saying no, you’re not alone. Many people struggle with the fear of rejection, the desire to please others, or feelings of guilt. Maybe you’ve said yes to things in the past, even when you didn’t want to, because you feared disappointing someone or appearing selfish. Society often teaches us that putting others first is a virtue. But the truth is, saying yes to everything is unsustainable and unhealthy. Saying no is a form of self-respect—it allows you to honor your own needs and take care of your well-being.

    The Empowerment of Saying No

    Saying no is one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but with practice, it becomes easier. When you say no, you take control of your life and reclaim your time and energy. You no longer allow external pressures or the needs of others to dictate your actions. Saying no allows you to prioritize your peace and well-being, leading to a more balanced, fulfilled life. Boundaries create a safe space for you to thrive, grow, and protect your emotional and physical health.

    How to Start Saying No (Tips and Strategies):

    1. Be Clear and Direct: When saying no, be confident and clear. You don’t need to over-explain. A simple “I need to focus on other priorities right now” is enough.

    2. Start Small: Begin practicing no in less challenging situations. The more you say no, the easier it becomes.

    3. Use “I” Statements: Take ownership of your choices. For example, “I need to take care of myself right now” instead of, “I can’t do this because of you.”

    4. Offer Alternatives (when appropriate): If it feels right, suggest an alternative, such as, “I can’t attend this time, but let’s catch up next week.”

    5. Pause Before Responding: If you’re unsure about a request, give yourself permission to pause before responding. It’s okay to take a moment to think and decide what’s best for you rather than reacting immediately. You can simply say, “Let me check my schedule, and I’ll get back to you.”

    6. Practice Self-Compassion: Understand that saying no doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. Be kind to yourself through this process. Acknowledge that setting boundaries is a form of self-care and it’s okay to say no without guilt. Remind yourself that your needs matter too.

    The Long-Term Benefits of Healthy Boundaries

    Setting boundaries leads to healthier relationships, better self-esteem, and improved emotional resilience. When you honor your own needs, you invite others to do the same. Healthy boundaries mean you are less likely to burn out, become resentful, or feel overwhelmed. In the long run, they empower you to live authentically, with a sense of self-respect that radiates outward. Boundaries protect your inner peace, foster growth, and allow you to show up as your best self for those around you.

    Personal Reflection

    I remember a time when saying no felt impossible to me. I was caught in a cycle of people-pleasing, constantly overcommitting to things I didn’t want to do. I found myself drained, frustrated, and even resentful, but I couldn’t stop. It wasn’t until I started practicing saying no that I realized how much I was sacrificing my peace for the approval of others. I began small—turning down an event I didn’t feel like attending—and the freedom I felt was so empowering. From that moment, I started saying no more often, and I felt more in control of my life. I realized that I don’t have to be everything to everyone—I just need to be true to myself.

    But it wasn’t always easy. There were moments when guilt would flood me, and I’d question my choices. I’d wonder if I was being selfish or disappointing people I cared about. I’d replay the conversations in my mind, worried that I was letting someone down. But then, in those quiet moments of self-reflection, I realized that the guilt was not a reflection of who I truly am. I wasn’t being selfish for prioritizing my well-being; I was being loving toward myself in a way I had never known how to do before. It took time to fully embrace that this was an act of self-respect, not self-sacrifice.

    What I didn’t expect was how much strength it would take to choose myself. There were times when I would face resistance from others or even internal doubts, but as I honored my boundaries, I began to heal. I started to trust that I am allowed to take up space, to say no, and to put myself first. And with that shift, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders, a lightness in my chest. I realized that I am worthy of peace, and I don’t have to sacrifice my happiness for anyone or anything.

    Call to Action

    I challenge you to reflect on where in your life you’re still saying yes out of guilt or fear. Are you overcommitting at work? Saying yes to obligations that drain your energy? Not setting clear boundaries with loved ones? Today, take one small step toward honoring your needs. Practice saying no when necessary, and give yourself permission to protect your peace. You deserve it.

    Ending on a note of empowerment

    Letting go of the guilt associated with saying no is an act of love and empowerment. You are not responsible for managing others’ emotions, bad behavior, or emotional baggage. You are responsible for how you choose to manage your stress, your reactions, and your emotional well-being. It’s time to step into your power and prioritize yourself. You are worthy of boundaries that protect your peace, and you have the right to say no when it aligns with your well-being.

    I see you, I hear you, and I value you. You are not alone in this journey. You are deserving of the peace, self-respect, and empowerment that comes from saying no and creating the boundaries that allow you to thrive.

  • The Power of Letting Go: Releasing What No Longer Serves You

    The Power of Letting Go: Releasing What No Longer Serves You

    Sometimes, the hardest thing we can do for ourselves is let go. We hold on to people, situations, and beliefs that no longer serve us, believing that holding on means we’re strong. But the truth is, the real power comes from the courage to release—to let go of what’s hurting us, what’s keeping us stuck, and what’s no longer aligned with the woman we’re becoming. Letting go isn’t weakness; it’s a radical act of self-love, one that allows you to release the chains that hold you back and make space for the abundance and joy meant for you.

    Why Letting Go is Essential for Growth:

    Growth is a messy, imperfect journey. It can feel like a battle we’re not prepared for, and sometimes we’re scared to face it. But here’s the truth I wish I’d known sooner: letting go is part of your growth story. Without it, you can’t fully evolve into the version of yourself that is free and capable of reaching your full potential.

    I remember countless nights lying awake, worried about what would happen if I finally let go. Would I lose myself? Would I have the courage to rebuild? Would I be forever alone? These fears held me captive for so long. I didn’t realize at the time that those fears were just illusions. What I discovered later is that letting go wasn’t the end—it was the beginning of something much more beautiful.

    When I allowed myself to release what no longer served me, I felt lighter. It was as if I could breathe again. Although the process wasn’t easy, it was empowering. Letting go became my ticket to reclaiming myself, my peace, and stepping into my own power. It’s a journey I wish I had embraced sooner.

    What to Let Go Of:

    1. Toxic Relationships:

    • One of the hardest things to do is to walk away from relationships that drain us. I held on for years, believing that loyalty meant staying—even when it was toxic. But staying in relationships that made me feel small or unappreciated only led me further away from my true self. Letting go of these relationships was one of the most challenging, but necessary steps I’ve taken to preserve my peace. It wasn’t just about walking away from others, but walking towards a life that honored who I am.

    2. Old Beliefs About Yourself:

    • How often do we hold on to limiting beliefs that keep us small? For years, I thought I wasn’t worthy of success, love, or true happiness. These false beliefs weighed me down and kept me from living the life I wanted. But the day I asked myself, “Why am I choosing to stay small?” everything shifted. I started to see my worth, my power, and my beauty in ways I hadn’t before. Letting go of those beliefs wasn’t immediate, but it was life-changing.

    3. Past Mistakes and Guilt:

    • I spent so much time living in regret. I couldn’t forgive myself for mistakes I’d made, things I couldn’t undo. But as I started to forgive myself, I realized that holding on to guilt was preventing me from moving forward. Letting go of regret has been a long journey, but it has brought me closer to peace, acceptance, and freedom.

    The Freedom You Gain from Letting Go:

    When we let go, we create space. Space for new opportunities, for healing, and for love. Letting go has given me freedom in so many ways—freedom from regret, freedom from the past, and the freedom to live in alignment with the woman I’m becoming. It has allowed me to step into my power, to trust in my own worth, and to finally believe that I deserve the life I’ve always dreamed of.

    How to Let Go:

    1. Acknowledge What Needs to Go:

    • The first step in letting go is recognizing what no longer serves you. Whether it’s a toxic relationship, an outdated belief, or a past mistake, acknowledging what needs to be released is crucial. Be honest with yourself and give yourself permission to let go.

    2. Let Yourself Feel:

    • Letting go isn’t just about rationalizing that something doesn’t serve you. It’s about feeling the emotions that come with it—anger, sadness, fear. Allow yourself to grieve. Give yourself permission to feel the sadness, anger, or fear. Feel it all so you can release it.

    3. Take Empowered Action:

    • After processing the emotions, take action. Whether it’s setting boundaries, speaking your truth, or forgiving yourself, every step you take toward letting go is an affirmation of your self-worth. You deserve a life filled with joy, love, and peace.

    The Importance of Managing Our Reactions:

    Here’s something that’s so crucial: we are not responsible for others’ emotions, bad behavior, or emotional baggage. We can’t control how others feel or act. What we are responsible for is how we choose to manage our stress, how we react to discomfort, disappointment, and stress.

    We often internalize other people’s emotional reactions, thinking we need to fix things, apologize, or take on their pain. But the truth is, we are only responsible for our own emotional landscape. We can choose how we react to stress, setbacks, or other people’s negative behaviors. We are not obligated to carry anyone else’s burdens but our own.

    By letting go of the weight of others’ emotions and focusing on how we manage ourselves in stressful situations, we free ourselves to respond with grace, clarity, and strength. We no longer need to take on the emotional burdens that are not ours to bear.

    Call to Action:

    I challenge you today to reflect on what you are holding onto. Is it a relationship, a belief, or a past mistake that’s keeping you stuck? Think about what you can release today, and make the conscious decision to let it go. When you do, you’ll create the space for all the amazing things that are meant for you.

    Letting go is not a sign of weakness; it’s an act of love, strength, and self-respect. It’s about releasing what no longer serves you and making room for something better. Remember, you are not responsible for others’ emotions, bad behavior, or emotional baggage. You are only responsible for how you manage your own emotions and reactions. When you choose to let go, you step into a future where you can shine as the fullest, most powerful version of yourself.

    Letting go isn’t just about the things you release—it’s about the life you make space for. You deserve freedom, peace, and joy. It’s time to let go of what no longer serves you and step into your full potential.

    A Personal Message:

    I want you to know that I see you. I hear you. I value you. This journey of letting go is not easy, and I honor the courage it takes to do so. Please remember, you are not alone in this process. We are all on this path together, learning and growing. And as you navigate the pain and release, always remember that you are worthy of everything good and beautiful that is waiting for you.

    You’ve got this. I believe in you.

    This post should be emotionally impactful, empowering, and offer actionable advice for your readers. The emphasis with italics and bold will highlight key parts of the message and make it more engaging.

  • Celebrating Self-Love on Valentine’s Eve: A Heartfelt Tribute to the Love We Give Ourselves

    Celebrating Self-Love on Valentine’s Eve: A Heartfelt Tribute to the Love We Give Ourselves

    As Valentine’s Day approaches, we’re surrounded by reminders of love—roses, chocolates, and grand gestures of affection. But before we pour our hearts out to others, let’s take a moment to pour love into ourselves. This Valentine’s Eve, I’m choosing to celebrate something that I’ve truly come to cherish: myself.

    Instead of focusing on romantic love, I’m choosing to honor the love I’ve learned to give myself. I’m going solo to watch the Moulin Rouge musical, with amazing seats and a killer outfit that’s going to make me feel unstoppable. It’s a day to honor the love I’ve learned to give myself, the love I truly deserve.

    The Deep Power of Self-Love

    For so long, I believed that the only way I was worthy of love was if someone else gave it to me. I would cry and pray, asking for someone to notice me, want me, choose me—never realizing that the person I was searching for was me. I wanted so badly to feel loved and wanted, and I looked outward for that fulfillment. But over time, I realized that the love I was craving had to come from within first.

    Spending time alone used to be something I feared and felt ashamed of. I didn’t know how to enjoy my own company. But today, I can confidently say that I’ve learned to embrace it. I am my own best company, and that’s where my true peace comes from. I’ve found joy in being with myself—learning about what makes me feel alive, laughing freely in my own space, and nurturing my own spirit. I’ve finally learned to love myself unconditionally.

    The Ripple Effect of Self-Love

    There was a time I didn’t know how to be alone with myself without feeling broken or incomplete. I believed that love had to come from outside of me. But what I’ve learned through self-reflection, growth, and healing is that love isn’t about waiting for someone to choose me. It’s about choosing myself first.

    Self-love isn’t just about a moment of self-care. It’s about radically accepting yourself, flaws and all. It’s about taking time to nourish your soul and understand that you deserve the same compassion and kindness you offer others. It’s about acknowledging your strength, your resilience, and the undeniable force you are in this world.

    Spending time with ourselves isn’t a curse or a sign of loneliness—it’s a privilege and a blessing. A moment to genuinely and truly spend time with the most important person ever—ourselves. Alone time is a gift—a time to be with the most important person in my life: me. It’s not about being alone, it’s about being at peace with myself, embracing all that I am.

    A Challenge for You

    This Valentine’s Eve, I challenge you to pause and reflect on the power you already hold within. Celebrate your essence. Celebrate the battles you’ve fought and the victories you’ve earned. Celebrate the incredible woman you are.

    Here are a few things you can do to truly celebrate yourself—things that might not seem obvious, but will deeply nourish your spirit:

    • Write a love letter to yourself: This isn’t just about acknowledging your accomplishments. Write about everything you love about yourself, from your quirks to your courage. Pour your heart out and remind yourself why you’re amazing.

    • Unplug for an hour: Disconnect from your phone, social media, and any distractions. Take that time to meditate, journal, or simply breathe and enjoy the silence. Let your mind and body rest without the constant input from the world around you.

    • Take yourself on a date: Go somewhere you’ve been meaning to visit but haven’t yet. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant, but it should be something you love—whether it’s a walk in nature, a visit to an art exhibit, or having coffee at a local café.

    • Do something creative: Whether it’s painting, writing, singing, or even crafting, let yourself get lost in the joy of creating without expectations or judgment. Create for the pure pleasure of creating.

    • Treat yourself to something special: Buy that book you’ve been eyeing or the self-care item you deserve. Pamper yourself with a bath, a face mask, or any little luxury you’ve been neglecting.

    • Set a new goal: Celebrate yourself by taking action. Is there something you’ve been thinking about doing but haven’t yet? Now is the time to take that first step towards your dreams.

    As you step into Valentine’s Day, promise yourself that this love will never stop. You are deserving of endless love, unshakable respect, and unwavering kindness—and it starts with you.

    Happy Valentine’s Eve. You are worthy of all the love the world has to offer, but most importantly, you are worthy of the love that begins with you. The love you seek will always begin with the love you give yourself first.