The Soft Power Journal

Tag: Inner Strength

  • Softness is a Strength: Why You Don’t Have to Get Harder to Be Taken Seriously

    Softness is a Strength: Why You Don’t Have to Get Harder to Be Taken Seriously

    I used to believe that strength had to look like sharp edges. Like staying unbothered, never crying, walking through the world untouched, unaffected, and completely self-sufficient. I thought softness was a liability—something that would make people question my authority or overlook my worth.

    But here’s the truth no one told me: Softness is not the opposite of strength. It’s the birthplace of it.

    Softness is what lets you feel. Stay grounded. Stay human. It’s what allows you to stay connected to your intuition in a world that profits off your disconnection. It’s what keeps you tender in moments when life tries to turn you cold.

    I learned this the hard way. When I started showing up softer—more present, more in tune, more vulnerable—some people did fall away. But the right ones? The ones who could hold my full humanity? They leaned in. They saw me more clearly.

    We’re taught to lead like men to be respected. To speak with edge. To hustle harder. To earn our rest. But the women I admire most don’t lead with force—they lead with presence. With inner steadiness. With grace that refuses to shrink, even when it’s misunderstood.

    Here’s why you don’t have to harden to be taken seriously:

    Because power rooted in love is louder than power rooted in fear.

    Because boundaries set with clarity carry more weight than defenses built from trauma.

    Because when you trust your own voice, you don’t need to mimic anyone else’s tone.

    Because emotional regulation isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom.

    And here’s what softness can actually look like:

    Saying no without needing to explain yourself.

    Letting yourself cry when your heart is heavy—without shame.

    Speaking from your center, not from your armor.

    Choosing peace over performance.

    Walking away from spaces that only value you when you’re performing strength.

    Softness doesn’t mean shrinking. It doesn’t mean passivity. And it definitely doesn’t mean weakness.

    It means standing in your power while still choosing tenderness.

    It means protecting your peace without becoming hard to love.

    It means honoring your emotions as sacred messengers—not things to silence.

    This is your reminder:

    You don’t have to become harder to be respected.

    You just have to become more you.

    Let softness be your rebellion.

    Let it be the new standard for strength.

  • Dear Former Me- I Thought He Cared About Me

    Dear Former Me- I Thought He Cared About Me

    Dear Former Me,

    Are you sick of me yet? Because I’m sick of me. I really, really, really hate myself right now. I hate that I’m so forgiving. I hate that I seem to piss people off so much without trying. I hate that I change myself hoping someone will love me but they never do. All they do is hurt me. Again. And Again. And again. And I let them.. Because that’s just who I am. I really, really want to hurt people sometimes.. But you know what’s crazier? I hate myself for feeling that way so then.. I just hurt myself. Literally. I literally will do whatever I can to just punish myself because how evil of a person do I have to be in order to actually feel like hurting someone else? 

    I’m pretty freaking sick right?

     You know my boyfriend? Prince? News Freaking Flash.. NEVER DATE A GUY NAMED PRINCE. He is ANYTHING BUT A PRINCE. He’s an abusive jerk. I probably could use stronger language but I’m trying to get right with God. Prince choked me.. And not just that he called me a Negro from the streets. And screamed in my face and tried to choke me into the closet.. And I STILL TRIED TO TAKE HIM BACK TO HIS PLACE since he was just drunk out of his freaking mind. Guess what?! That didn’t happen. I had to call the cops on him because he wouldn’t stop screaming from the back seat of my car and then climbed to the front seat and I had to pull over only for him to choke me and spit in my face. 

    And you know the worst part? I didn’t want him to go to jail. I just wanted him to leave me alone.. so now I’m going to have to dodge the police because I’m not going to court to testify against him? Stupid? Idk maybe.. but here’s the thing.. I just don’t want to ruin someone’s life even if they really hurt me. And I would rather just be left alone.. I’m tired of always having to fight. I’ve literally been fighting my entire life. My mom, my family, girls in detention centers, boyfriends.. like this is exhausting.. I don’t know how I find myself in these stupid situations.

    It’s like… these guys start off really great.. but then.. BOOM full crazy.. and here’s the thing.. I don’t even like fighting. The only reason I ever fought in the past was because my mom would make me fight these kids in my neighborhood.. like literally make me fight them. Or I was on the run after my mom beat me up and kicked me out of the house so .. all of a sudden I was a 10 year old kid having to fight grown women and adults off of me in the streets of Las Vegas.. 

    Dude.. why do guys feel like they can hurt me all the time. I don’t even do anything to them… it’s like.. me being happy somehow is me being disrespectful? I should’ve hit him back.. I promise you I should’ve. I need to stop letting people hit me.. I don’t deserve that. I really don’t. It just.. is Normal I guess. 

    Idk.. God.. please help me find the courage to leave ..

    Evelyn.. if you’re reading this.. just know you made it through. You guys broke up. He wasn’t your man.. he might’ve been a man but not your man.. because any man who loves you wouldn’t put his hands on you, or be verbally abusive. He would love you the way that God loves you. And you deserve that. Even if you don’t believe that right now.. just know that I do.

    I’m proud of you for ending the relationship. And if I know you like I think I do, you didn’t do no dramatic exit .. you just let it go with grace. Trust me.. God has something and someone way better than you could’ve ever imagined. Just.. trust him.. Also, if a man EVER puts his hands on you again.. YOU STAND 10 toes down on business and you CALL THE COPS. Never fight men but you have every right to fight against your oppressor. Once a man decides to hit you. He is not a man. He is your oppressor.. you got this.. just keep praying .. it’s going to get better right? Yes.. it’s going to get better.

    I love you Evelyn. I’m sorry I didn’t protect you more but I promise.. I promise I’m going to be your protector from now on. I know this is new territory to us.. you’ve never had someone protect you growing up aside from Grandma.. so it’s going to be a learning experience but, we’re going to learn together. We’re going to learn and we’re going to be ok. You know how I know? Because God has been with us through worse. He has never left us empty handed and because I GOT YOU. If NOBODY ELSE has you, just know that I do. God’s plan. Not Ours. God’s plan.

    I love you so much Evelyn. You are so resilient. You are light. And you deserve better than anything you’ve ever been through. I got us baby.

    Forever yours,

    Evelyn 

  • Protect Your Softness, But Never Mistake It for Weakness

    Protect Your Softness, But Never Mistake It for Weakness

    There’s a misconception that being soft means being weak. That a woman who embraces her femininity, her emotions, and her tenderness is somehow naive or fragile.

    But real softness? Is strength in disguise.

    It takes power to remain soft in a world that tries to harden you. It takes discipline to choose grace when you could retaliate. It takes wisdom to know when to be gentle and when to be firm.

    But let’s be clear—being soft does not mean being a pushover.

    Softness With Boundaries is Unstoppable

    Too many women either suppress their softness in an attempt to be “strong” or let people take advantage of it by lacking boundaries.

    True feminine power lies in balance. It’s about knowing:

    • Your kindness is a choice, not an obligation.

    • Your patience has limits, and those limits must be respected.

    • Your emotions are valuable, but they do not control you.

    • Your ability to love deeply does not mean you tolerate disrespect.

    Softness without strength invites mistreatment. Strength without softness breeds isolation. The most powerful women master both.

    How to Protect Your Softness Without Losing Your Strength

    1. Trust Your Intuition – Being soft doesn’t mean ignoring red flags. Honor your inner knowing and act accordingly.

    2. Set Boundaries Without Guilt – You can be warm and loving while still saying, “This does not work for me.”

    3. Recognize Who Deserves Your Energy – Not everyone is worthy of your gentleness. Save it for those who appreciate it.

    4. Stand Firm When Necessary – Your softness is not an excuse for anyone to underestimate you. If they do, let them be surprised when you remind them otherwise.

    You Can Be Both—And That’s the Secret

    The world tells women they must choose: Be soft or be strong. Be kind or be firm. Be loving or be powerful.

    But the truth? You were never meant to choose. You were meant to be both.

    Soft, but untouchable.

    Loving, but not naive.

    Open-hearted, but with an iron backbone.

    Because a woman who can master both softness and strength? She is unstoppable.

  • Becoming Unshakable: The Art of Holding Your Power

    Becoming Unshakable: The Art of Holding Your Power

    There comes a moment in every woman’s journey when she realizes that no one can take her power—only she can give it away.

    People will try to provoke you.

    Situations will test you.

    Your past will whisper that you’re not ready.

    But the truth is, you are only as unshakable as you decide to be.

    The strongest, most magnetic women aren’t the ones who never face challenges—they’re the ones who refuse to let those challenges break them. They stand firm. They move with intention. And most importantly, they hold their power, no matter what.

    What It Means to Hold Your Power

    Holding your power doesn’t mean you never feel emotions. It doesn’t mean you never have moments of doubt. It means that you don’t let those emotions or doubts make decisions for you.

    It means:

    • You don’t react—you respond.

    • You don’t chase—you attract.

    • You don’t beg—you observe.

    • You don’t shrink—you rise.

    When you truly embody this, people will notice. They will feel the shift. Some will be drawn to you, others will be intimidated. But none will be able to ignore the presence of a woman who is fully in her power.

    How to Become Unshakable

    If you want to move through life with the kind of confidence that nothing can touch, you have to train yourself to become the eye of the storm, not the chaos within it. Here’s how:

    1. Master Emotional Control – When you let people trigger you, you give them control. Observe, breathe, and decide how you want to respond instead of reacting impulsively.

    2. Detach from External Validation – When you no longer seek approval, no one can manipulate you with it.

    3. Set Boundaries and Enforce Them – A boundary means nothing if you don’t uphold it. Walk away when necessary. No second chances.

    4. Move Like You Are the Prize – Because you are. The more you act like it, the more people will treat you accordingly.

    5. Never Explain Your Standards – You don’t owe anyone a justification for what you will and won’t accept. Either they rise to meet you, or they fall away.

    Your Power is Yours—Reclaim It

    The next time someone tries to make you doubt yourself, remember: Their opinion is not your truth.

    The next time life throws a challenge your way, remember: You are built for this.

    The next time you feel like reacting, remember: Your silence, your presence, and your discernment are your greatest weapons.

    Because the moment you decide that you are unshakable, unstoppable, and untouchable—the world will have no choice but to recognize it, too.

    And that? That’s real power.

  • Unleash Your Inner Power: Owning Your Confidence and Strength

    Unleash Your Inner Power: Owning Your Confidence and Strength

    There comes a time when you stop asking for permission to take up space. When you stop apologizing for your strength, your beauty, and your voice. We’ve all been conditioned to shrink, to play small, to make ourselves easier to digest for others. But what if I told you that the world doesn’t need your apology? What if you could stop waiting for approval and start standing in your power, unapologetically?

    This is your reminder: You have the right to take up space, to be seen, to be heard. You are powerful, just as you are.

    The Power of Confidence:

    Confidence isn’t a trait reserved for the select few. It’s something you can cultivate within yourself, daily, with every action you take, every word you speak. But here’s the truth: Confidence doesn’t come from perfection. It comes from trusting yourself and owning your worth.

    Too often, we let self-doubt and fear prevent us from fully stepping into our power. We wait for others to validate us, to tell us we’re worthy, or to approve of our success. But the key to unlocking your power is realizing that you don’t need anyone’s permission to be confident.

    It’s about knowing that you deserve everything you’ve ever dreamed of—and more. It’s about owning your brilliance, your mistakes, and everything in between. Confidence comes from within, from trusting that you are enough, no matter what anyone else thinks or says.

    Breaking Free from Expectations:

    Society loves to box us in. Women, especially, are expected to be quiet, humble, submissive. We’re told to shrink to make others feel comfortable. But why? Why should we be apologetic for our accomplishments, our beauty, our ambition?

    The truth is, you don’t owe anyone an apology for being exactly who you are. If you want to be loud, be loud. If you want to chase your dreams, chase them relentlessly. If you want to shine, shine brighter than you ever thought possible.

    Here’s the thing—being authentic, unapologetic, and confident isn’t about arrogance. It’s about embracing your true self and showing the world who you really are. When you step into your power, you become a beacon of light for others to do the same.

    Owning Your Strength and Beauty:

    You are not defined by what others think of you or what they expect you to be. You are defined by your strength, your grace, and your unwavering belief in your own worth.

    It’s time to stop placing conditions on your beauty and your worth. Your strength isn’t just in how you look—it’s in how you carry yourself, how you stand tall in the face of adversity, how you rise after every fall. You are powerful beyond measure, and that power lies in accepting every part of yourself—flaws, scars, and all.

    Don’t wait for anyone to validate your existence. You are already enough. Your beauty, your strength, your energy—they are all essential parts of the whole you. Own them.

    Personal Reflection:

    There was a time when I second-guessed myself constantly. I questioned whether I was enough, whether I deserved to be successful, whether I could handle the weight of my dreams. But once I realized that my worth isn’t determined by anyone else, everything changed.

    I stopped waiting for permission to be confident. I stopped apologizing for taking up space. And you know what? The moment I stopped shrinking, the world around me started to open up in ways I never imagined.

    That doesn’t mean it’s always easy. Confidence is a practice. It’s something you choose every day. And trust me, when you step into your power, you’ll start seeing results you didn’t even know were possible.

    How to Unleash Your Inner Power:

    1. Stop Apologizing for Your Success: You worked hard for it. Don’t shrink back when you accomplish something. Own your success and celebrate it.

    2. Embrace Your Voice: Speak up. Let your voice be heard, whether it’s at work, in relationships, or in your community. Your voice has power.

    3. Trust Yourself: Confidence comes from within, so start trusting your instincts. When you trust yourself, you make decisions from a place of strength, not fear.

    4. Stop Comparing: Comparison is the thief of joy. Focus on your own journey, and remember that you are on your own path.

    5. Be Kind to Yourself: Confidence doesn’t mean perfection. It means accepting yourself, flaws and all, and treating yourself with the same love and respect you give others.

    Call to Action:

    I want to challenge you today: Look in the mirror, and see yourself as the strong, powerful, and worthy person you are. The world needs your confidence, your voice, and your strength. Don’t wait for anyone to give you permission to be bold and fierce. Start right now.

    Take a step toward owning your power. Whether it’s a small action or a big leap, start today. I’d love to hear how you’re stepping into your confidence—share in the comments, on social media, or in your personal journal.

    Conclusion:

    We are all worthy of being seen, being heard, and owning our space. The world needs your strength and your unapologetic confidence. The moment you step into your power, you become unstoppable. Don’t wait for anyone to give you permission. Step into your greatness now.

    You are powerful. You are enough. You are ready.

  • Embracing Disappointment: The Power of Letting Go and Trusting the Process

    Embracing Disappointment: The Power of Letting Go and Trusting the Process

    Disappointment is something we all face at some point in our lives. Whether it’s missing an opportunity, facing a setback, or having expectations that don’t align with reality, it’s a feeling that can leave us heartbroken, frustrated, and uncertain about the future. But what if we embraced disappointment as an opportunity for growth, learning, and self-discovery? What if we could see the beauty in letting go and allowing life to unfold as it’s meant to, even when things don’t go as planned? 🌱✨

    The Reality of Disappointment:

    For me, disappointment hit hard not too long ago. I was so excited to visit Texas, a place I had longed to experience, but life had other plans. Missing my flight felt like the universe slapped me with an undeniable message—something was off. On top of that, I lost my wallet, which only added to the weight of my emotions. But, as challenging as it was, it also gave me the chance to face my disappointment head-on and experience what it truly means to lean into life, even when the waves of discomfort and uncertainty came crashing in. 🌊💔

    The Power of Letting Go:

    We often fight against disappointment. We resist it, try to change it, or beat ourselves up about it. But as I allowed myself to sit with my feelings and truly experience the disappointment, I realized that it’s in these moments of surrender where the magic happens. ✨ I had to let go of the idea of control. Life doesn’t always go according to plan, but that doesn’t mean it’s not unfolding in the way it’s supposed to. 🌟

    Sometimes, we believe we’re heading in one direction, but the universe—or God—has a way of guiding us to something even better. I realized that my trip to Texas wasn’t meant to happen at that moment, but something else was waiting for me. I wasn’t thrilled to be in a city that wasn’t part of my plan, but I decided to allow myself to be present, to let go of my expectations, and to see what could unfold. That’s when the beauty of the situation revealed itself. 🌻

    A New Connection:

    In the midst of my disappointment, I met someone kind, thoughtful, and full of positive energy. 🌈 Our paths crossed in the most unexpected way, and what I had thought was a setback turned into an opportunity for a meaningful connection. Life had a different plan for me, and I chose to embrace it with open arms. 🤗

    This experience also led me to something I don’t often make room for: letting my hair down and laughing from the bottom of my stomach. It was a reminder to live freely, to allow myself to be unburdened by perfection or society’s expectations, and to release the control I often hold onto so tightly. I realized I was also letting go of myself—the expectations I place on me, the pressure I feel to be in control, and the fear of not meeting some invisible standard. ✨💫

    The Power of Soft Power in Disappointment:

    It’s easy to forget that disappointment doesn’t mean failure; it simply means that things didn’t turn out the way we expected. But here’s the thing—we’re not responsible for the outcome of every situation. We are responsible for how we choose to handle what comes our way. Soft power, which is grounded in vulnerability, empathy, and grace, teaches us that we can handle disappointment with elegance and inner strength. 💪 When we embrace soft power, we find the strength to acknowledge our feelings, let go of unnecessary burdens, and still find joy in the process. 🌟

    Sometimes, it’s in the darkest moments where we find our greatest growth—and letting go of the need for everything to go perfectly allows us to embrace the beauty in the unexpected. Just as I learned to appreciate the unexpected twists and turns of my journey, you too can learn how to handle disappointment with grace and reclaim your peace in the process. 💕

    Steps to Embrace Soft Power When Facing Disappointment:

    Here’s what I’ve learned about navigating disappointment and using it to empower myself:

    1. Acknowledge the Disappointment: The first step in healing is acknowledging how you feel. Don’t suppress or ignore your emotions. Sit with them and allow yourself to feel the hurt or frustration. 💖

    2. Let Go of Control: Understand that you cannot control everything. Sometimes, life will guide you in a direction you didn’t expect, and that’s okay. Let go of the need to control the outcome and embrace what comes your way. 🌱

    3. Reframe the Situation: Shift your perspective. Ask yourself what lessons you can learn from the disappointment. How is it guiding you to something greater? ✨

    4. Give Yourself Permission to Feel: Embrace the emotions that come up, but also allow yourself the freedom to release them when the time is right. You are not bound to your disappointment. 🌸

    5. Trust the Process: Trust that everything is happening for a reason, even if you can’t see it right now. Life has a way of working itself out, and sometimes the delay is part of the bigger picture. 🌟

    6. Make Space for Joy: Allow yourself to enjoy the present moment. Even in the face of disappointment, find something to smile about. Laughter, even in tough times, is a powerful tool for healing. 🌼

    I encourage you to reflect on the disappointments in your life—what have you been holding onto? How have they shaped your journey? I’d love for you to share your own stories of how you navigated disappointment and found a way to embrace the lessons it offered. Remember, you’re not alone in this process, and your story may help someone else going through something similar. 🧡

    Disappointments are a part of life, but they do not define us. We are not responsible for others’ reactions, nor should we carry the weight of their projections. What matters is how we respond—how we choose to manage our emotions, how we choose to react, and how we reclaim our power in the face of adversity. You are worthy of peace, joy, and fulfillment, regardless of the setbacks that may come your way.

    I see you. I hear you. I value you. You are not alone in this journey. Together, let’s embrace disappointment as an opportunity for growth, connection, and healing. Remember, you are always in control of how you rise from the challenges life presents. ✨🌱

  • How to Cultivate Soft Power in a Hard World

    How to Cultivate Soft Power in a Hard World

    Because Strength Doesn’t Have to Be Loud

    In a world that often celebrates loudness and dominance, embracing soft power can feel counterintuitive. But it’s precisely this quieter, more intentional strength that has the power to inspire, influence, and transform lives.

    Soft power isn’t about being passive. It’s about moving with grace, setting boundaries with confidence, and trusting your presence is enough. In this post, I’ll share practical ways to cultivate soft power so you can navigate life with quiet strength and unshakable self-worth.

    1️⃣ Understand the Essence of Soft Power

    Soft power isn’t about shrinking or staying silent. It’s about choosing your energy wisely and being intentional with your words, actions, and presence.

    Think of soft power as the ability to influence and inspire without force. It’s rooted in self-trust, emotional intelligence, and the knowledge that true strength doesn’t have to demand attention—it naturally commands it.

    2️⃣ Master the Art of Stillness

    In a noisy world, stillness is a superpower. Instead of reacting to every situation, cultivate the habit of pausing, observing, and responding with intention.

    • Why It Matters: Stillness allows you to process your emotions and think clearly before taking action.

    • How to Practice: The next time you’re faced with a stressful situation, take a deep breath, pause, and ask yourself: “What outcome aligns with my values?”

    3️⃣ Speak Less, Mean More

    One of the hallmarks of soft power is the ability to communicate effectively without saying too much.

    • Why It Matters: Words carry weight when they’re used intentionally.

    • How to Practice: Before speaking, ask yourself: “Is this true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?” This approach ensures your words are purposeful and impactful.

    4️⃣ Set Boundaries with Grace

    Soft power doesn’t mean being a pushover. It means knowing your worth and being confident in protecting your peace.

    • Why It Matters: Boundaries create space for respect and mutual understanding.

    • How to Practice: Use phrases like:

    • “I appreciate you asking, but I need to focus on myself right now.”

    • “This doesn’t align with what’s best for me, but thank you for thinking of me.”

    5️⃣ Trust in Divine Timing

    Soft power is deeply rooted in faith—faith in yourself, your intuition, and the timing of life.

    • Why It Matters: When you trust that what’s meant for you will come, you stop chasing and start attracting.

    • How to Practice: Shift your mindset from scarcity (“I have to act now or I’ll miss my chance”) to abundance (“What’s meant for me won’t pass me by”).

    6️⃣ Embody Confidence, Not Force

    Confidence is magnetic when it’s quiet and secure. Soft power allows you to exude self-assurance without forcing it.

    • Why It Matters: Confidence rooted in self-worth doesn’t need external validation.

    • How to Practice: Focus on how you feel, not how you’re perceived. Affirm to yourself: “I am enough as I am.”

    Final Reflection

    Cultivating soft power is about showing up for yourself in a way that feels authentic, grounded, and aligned with your values. It’s about trusting your presence, energy, and ability to navigate life with grace and intention.

    So, here’s my challenge for you:

    💬 What’s one way you can start embracing soft power in your life today?

    Let me know your thoughts in the comments—I’d love to hear your story.