The Soft Power Journal

Tag: Life Lessons

  • The Moment I Realized My Power

    The Moment I Realized My Power

    Because Strength Doesn’t Have to Be Loud

    I used to believe that strength meant being loud. That power meant proving myself, speaking up first, and making sure my presence was felt. I thought that to be strong, I had to be forceful. But there was a moment—a defining one—when I realized that true strength isn’t about how loudly you demand attention.

    It’s about how effortlessly you command it.

    The Moment That Changed Everything

    There was a time when I found myself in a situation where I would have normally reacted—pushed, spoken up, fought to be heard. Instead, I did something different. I leaned back. I stayed still. I allowed the situation to unfold without forcing it.

    And something unexpected happened—everything started working in my favor.

    I wasn’t weak for not reacting. I wasn’t losing control by not proving myself. I was owning my power by choosing stillness over force, grace over reaction, certainty over doubt.

    That was the moment I realized that soft power—quiet, deliberate, deeply-rooted strength—is far more magnetic than trying to prove anything to anyone.

    What Soft Power Truly Means

    Soft power isn’t about being passive. It isn’t about shrinking or letting things happen to you.

    It’s about understanding your worth so deeply that you don’t have to fight for space. It’s about knowing that your presence, energy, and confidence are enough.

    Here’s what I’ve learned:

    • Power isn’t about talking the loudest; it’s about saying the least and still being heard.

    • Confidence isn’t about forcing a response; it’s about knowing you don’t need one.

    • Strength isn’t about control; it’s about trust—trusting yourself, your energy, and the way life unfolds.

    How You Can Embrace Soft Power

    If you’ve ever felt like you had to prove yourself, fight for attention, or make your presence known, I want you to consider this:

    What would happen if you leaned back instead of chasing? If you allowed instead of forcing? If you trusted instead of controlling?

    Here’s how you can start embracing soft power today:

    1. Master the Art of Presence – You don’t need to take up space loudly. Your energy speaks before you even say a word.

    2. Respond, Don’t React – Power is in pausing, observing, and choosing your words carefully.

    3. Trust That What’s Meant for You Will Come – Soft power is deeply rooted in self-trust and divine timing.

    4. Speak Less, Mean More – When you do speak, let your words hold weight, depth, and certainty.

    5. Embody Confidence, Not Force – True confidence isn’t loud; it’s felt. It’s in how you carry yourself, not in how much you say.

    Soft Power Is the Ultimate Strength

    That moment when I chose stillness over reaction changed everything for me. I realized that I didn’t need to prove myself to be powerful—I just needed to embody my worth.

    If this resonates with you, I’d love to know:

    💬 Have you ever experienced a moment where you realized your soft power? Share your thoughts in the comments—I’d love to hear your story.

  • Dear Former Me- Friendship Grief

    Dear Former Me- Friendship Grief

    Dear Former Me,

    You didn’t imagine it.

    That connection was real.

    And even if it was just a friendship—just someone who saw you and showed up—it still mattered. It still hurts.

    You didn’t expect to miss them this much, did you?

    It wasn’t about romance. It never had to be.

    It was about the way you laughed without trying.

    How they showed up to Poetry Night with you, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

    How you could sit next to them in silence and still feel like you were being held.

    Not with hands.

    With presence.

    With that steady, quiet way they had of being around you that made you feel like you didn’t have to prove anything to be valued.

    You didn’t lose a partner.

    You lost your person.

    Or at least, someone who felt like one—for a season.

    You thought, maybe for once, the story didn’t need a plot twist.

    Maybe this one would stay simple. Kind. Consistent.

    Maybe this was a friendship you could keep.

    But then it changed.

    Not all at once, but enough that you noticed.

    The way the replies got slower.

    The way the warmth dimmed.

    The way you were left wondering if you said too much, or not enough.

    You’re sitting here now, retracing it all, trying to find the moment the air shifted.

    But maybe there isn’t one.

    Maybe some friendships don’t end loudly—they just… evaporate.

    And that’s its own kind of grief.

    You keep saying it was “just” a friendship.

    But the way you felt after? That silence didn’t feel small.

    You felt it in your body.

    In your stomach.

    In the space where laughter used to echo.

    You didn’t ask for anything more than what you gave.

    And still, it feels like too much was left unsaid.

    Like no one warned you that missing a friend could ache like this.

    But here’s what I want you to remember:

    It’s not embarrassing to miss someone who made you feel safe.

    It’s not dramatic to mourn what felt like home.

    You are allowed to miss the version of yourself that felt held in that friendship.

    And it’s okay to still wish things were different.

    But don’t let this loss make you smaller.

    Don’t start holding back your care, your presence, your softness.

    The world needs more people who show up the way you did.

    They knew you.

    Even if they forgot how rare that was.

    And if nothing else—you’ll remember.

    You’ll remember what it felt like to be met in your fullness.

    And that memory will shape how you let the next person in.

    With grace,

    Evelyn

  • Dear Former Me-Thank You for Letting Go

    Dear Former Me-Thank You for Letting Go

    Dear Former Me,

    I know how hard you tried to hold it all together.

    Even when your heart was tired.

    Even when your spirit whispered this isn’t it—you still leaned in, still hoped, still made space for someone who wasn’t ready to meet you there.

    I saw how you twisted yourself into softer shapes,

    how you over-explained just to feel seen,

    how you called silence patience and tension love.

    You didn’t want to walk away. You wanted it to work.

    But deep down, I know you knew:

    love shouldn’t feel like negotiating your worth.

    So thank you—for finally letting go.

    Not in anger. Not in resentment.

    But in clarity.

    You let go of needing to be chosen.

    You let go of shrinking your needs.

    You let go of waiting for someone else to grow.

    And in doing that,

    you came back home to yourself.

    I know it hurt.

    But you learned to stop interpreting distance as your fault.

    You stopped calling someone’s emotional unavailability a challenge to overcome.

    You stopped begging for presence in the form of crumbs.

    You stopped settling for almost.

    Thank you for the nights you cried but didn’t reach back out.

    Thank you for choosing peace over potential.

    Thank you for walking away, not because you stopped caring—

    but because you finally started caring about yourself more.

    Because of you, I don’t abandon myself anymore.

    I no longer confuse mixed signals for magic.

    I no longer carry the weight of their unreadiness.

    I no longer perform for love I deserve to receive with ease.

    So thank you.

    You didn’t fail.

    You finally honored the version of you who’s been waiting to be free.

    With so much pride,

    Evelyn

  • Dear Former Me- I Thought He Cared About Me

    Dear Former Me- I Thought He Cared About Me

    Dear Former Me,

    Are you sick of me yet? Because I’m sick of me. I really, really, really hate myself right now. I hate that I’m so forgiving. I hate that I seem to piss people off so much without trying. I hate that I change myself hoping someone will love me but they never do. All they do is hurt me. Again. And Again. And again. And I let them.. Because that’s just who I am. I really, really want to hurt people sometimes.. But you know what’s crazier? I hate myself for feeling that way so then.. I just hurt myself. Literally. I literally will do whatever I can to just punish myself because how evil of a person do I have to be in order to actually feel like hurting someone else? 

    I’m pretty freaking sick right?

     You know my boyfriend? Prince? News Freaking Flash.. NEVER DATE A GUY NAMED PRINCE. He is ANYTHING BUT A PRINCE. He’s an abusive jerk. I probably could use stronger language but I’m trying to get right with God. Prince choked me.. And not just that he called me a Negro from the streets. And screamed in my face and tried to choke me into the closet.. And I STILL TRIED TO TAKE HIM BACK TO HIS PLACE since he was just drunk out of his freaking mind. Guess what?! That didn’t happen. I had to call the cops on him because he wouldn’t stop screaming from the back seat of my car and then climbed to the front seat and I had to pull over only for him to choke me and spit in my face. 

    And you know the worst part? I didn’t want him to go to jail. I just wanted him to leave me alone.. so now I’m going to have to dodge the police because I’m not going to court to testify against him? Stupid? Idk maybe.. but here’s the thing.. I just don’t want to ruin someone’s life even if they really hurt me. And I would rather just be left alone.. I’m tired of always having to fight. I’ve literally been fighting my entire life. My mom, my family, girls in detention centers, boyfriends.. like this is exhausting.. I don’t know how I find myself in these stupid situations.

    It’s like… these guys start off really great.. but then.. BOOM full crazy.. and here’s the thing.. I don’t even like fighting. The only reason I ever fought in the past was because my mom would make me fight these kids in my neighborhood.. like literally make me fight them. Or I was on the run after my mom beat me up and kicked me out of the house so .. all of a sudden I was a 10 year old kid having to fight grown women and adults off of me in the streets of Las Vegas.. 

    Dude.. why do guys feel like they can hurt me all the time. I don’t even do anything to them… it’s like.. me being happy somehow is me being disrespectful? I should’ve hit him back.. I promise you I should’ve. I need to stop letting people hit me.. I don’t deserve that. I really don’t. It just.. is Normal I guess. 

    Idk.. God.. please help me find the courage to leave ..

    Evelyn.. if you’re reading this.. just know you made it through. You guys broke up. He wasn’t your man.. he might’ve been a man but not your man.. because any man who loves you wouldn’t put his hands on you, or be verbally abusive. He would love you the way that God loves you. And you deserve that. Even if you don’t believe that right now.. just know that I do.

    I’m proud of you for ending the relationship. And if I know you like I think I do, you didn’t do no dramatic exit .. you just let it go with grace. Trust me.. God has something and someone way better than you could’ve ever imagined. Just.. trust him.. Also, if a man EVER puts his hands on you again.. YOU STAND 10 toes down on business and you CALL THE COPS. Never fight men but you have every right to fight against your oppressor. Once a man decides to hit you. He is not a man. He is your oppressor.. you got this.. just keep praying .. it’s going to get better right? Yes.. it’s going to get better.

    I love you Evelyn. I’m sorry I didn’t protect you more but I promise.. I promise I’m going to be your protector from now on. I know this is new territory to us.. you’ve never had someone protect you growing up aside from Grandma.. so it’s going to be a learning experience but, we’re going to learn together. We’re going to learn and we’re going to be ok. You know how I know? Because God has been with us through worse. He has never left us empty handed and because I GOT YOU. If NOBODY ELSE has you, just know that I do. God’s plan. Not Ours. God’s plan.

    I love you so much Evelyn. You are so resilient. You are light. And you deserve better than anything you’ve ever been through. I got us baby.

    Forever yours,

    Evelyn 

  • Embracing Disappointment: The Power of Letting Go and Trusting the Process

    Embracing Disappointment: The Power of Letting Go and Trusting the Process

    Disappointment is something we all face at some point in our lives. Whether it’s missing an opportunity, facing a setback, or having expectations that don’t align with reality, it’s a feeling that can leave us heartbroken, frustrated, and uncertain about the future. But what if we embraced disappointment as an opportunity for growth, learning, and self-discovery? What if we could see the beauty in letting go and allowing life to unfold as it’s meant to, even when things don’t go as planned? 🌱✨

    The Reality of Disappointment:

    For me, disappointment hit hard not too long ago. I was so excited to visit Texas, a place I had longed to experience, but life had other plans. Missing my flight felt like the universe slapped me with an undeniable message—something was off. On top of that, I lost my wallet, which only added to the weight of my emotions. But, as challenging as it was, it also gave me the chance to face my disappointment head-on and experience what it truly means to lean into life, even when the waves of discomfort and uncertainty came crashing in. 🌊💔

    The Power of Letting Go:

    We often fight against disappointment. We resist it, try to change it, or beat ourselves up about it. But as I allowed myself to sit with my feelings and truly experience the disappointment, I realized that it’s in these moments of surrender where the magic happens. ✨ I had to let go of the idea of control. Life doesn’t always go according to plan, but that doesn’t mean it’s not unfolding in the way it’s supposed to. 🌟

    Sometimes, we believe we’re heading in one direction, but the universe—or God—has a way of guiding us to something even better. I realized that my trip to Texas wasn’t meant to happen at that moment, but something else was waiting for me. I wasn’t thrilled to be in a city that wasn’t part of my plan, but I decided to allow myself to be present, to let go of my expectations, and to see what could unfold. That’s when the beauty of the situation revealed itself. 🌻

    A New Connection:

    In the midst of my disappointment, I met someone kind, thoughtful, and full of positive energy. 🌈 Our paths crossed in the most unexpected way, and what I had thought was a setback turned into an opportunity for a meaningful connection. Life had a different plan for me, and I chose to embrace it with open arms. 🤗

    This experience also led me to something I don’t often make room for: letting my hair down and laughing from the bottom of my stomach. It was a reminder to live freely, to allow myself to be unburdened by perfection or society’s expectations, and to release the control I often hold onto so tightly. I realized I was also letting go of myself—the expectations I place on me, the pressure I feel to be in control, and the fear of not meeting some invisible standard. ✨💫

    The Power of Soft Power in Disappointment:

    It’s easy to forget that disappointment doesn’t mean failure; it simply means that things didn’t turn out the way we expected. But here’s the thing—we’re not responsible for the outcome of every situation. We are responsible for how we choose to handle what comes our way. Soft power, which is grounded in vulnerability, empathy, and grace, teaches us that we can handle disappointment with elegance and inner strength. 💪 When we embrace soft power, we find the strength to acknowledge our feelings, let go of unnecessary burdens, and still find joy in the process. 🌟

    Sometimes, it’s in the darkest moments where we find our greatest growth—and letting go of the need for everything to go perfectly allows us to embrace the beauty in the unexpected. Just as I learned to appreciate the unexpected twists and turns of my journey, you too can learn how to handle disappointment with grace and reclaim your peace in the process. 💕

    Steps to Embrace Soft Power When Facing Disappointment:

    Here’s what I’ve learned about navigating disappointment and using it to empower myself:

    1. Acknowledge the Disappointment: The first step in healing is acknowledging how you feel. Don’t suppress or ignore your emotions. Sit with them and allow yourself to feel the hurt or frustration. 💖

    2. Let Go of Control: Understand that you cannot control everything. Sometimes, life will guide you in a direction you didn’t expect, and that’s okay. Let go of the need to control the outcome and embrace what comes your way. 🌱

    3. Reframe the Situation: Shift your perspective. Ask yourself what lessons you can learn from the disappointment. How is it guiding you to something greater? ✨

    4. Give Yourself Permission to Feel: Embrace the emotions that come up, but also allow yourself the freedom to release them when the time is right. You are not bound to your disappointment. 🌸

    5. Trust the Process: Trust that everything is happening for a reason, even if you can’t see it right now. Life has a way of working itself out, and sometimes the delay is part of the bigger picture. 🌟

    6. Make Space for Joy: Allow yourself to enjoy the present moment. Even in the face of disappointment, find something to smile about. Laughter, even in tough times, is a powerful tool for healing. 🌼

    I encourage you to reflect on the disappointments in your life—what have you been holding onto? How have they shaped your journey? I’d love for you to share your own stories of how you navigated disappointment and found a way to embrace the lessons it offered. Remember, you’re not alone in this process, and your story may help someone else going through something similar. 🧡

    Disappointments are a part of life, but they do not define us. We are not responsible for others’ reactions, nor should we carry the weight of their projections. What matters is how we respond—how we choose to manage our emotions, how we choose to react, and how we reclaim our power in the face of adversity. You are worthy of peace, joy, and fulfillment, regardless of the setbacks that may come your way.

    I see you. I hear you. I value you. You are not alone in this journey. Together, let’s embrace disappointment as an opportunity for growth, connection, and healing. Remember, you are always in control of how you rise from the challenges life presents. ✨🌱

  • How to Cultivate Soft Power in a Hard World

    How to Cultivate Soft Power in a Hard World

    Because Strength Doesn’t Have to Be Loud

    In a world that often celebrates loudness and dominance, embracing soft power can feel counterintuitive. But it’s precisely this quieter, more intentional strength that has the power to inspire, influence, and transform lives.

    Soft power isn’t about being passive. It’s about moving with grace, setting boundaries with confidence, and trusting your presence is enough. In this post, I’ll share practical ways to cultivate soft power so you can navigate life with quiet strength and unshakable self-worth.

    1️⃣ Understand the Essence of Soft Power

    Soft power isn’t about shrinking or staying silent. It’s about choosing your energy wisely and being intentional with your words, actions, and presence.

    Think of soft power as the ability to influence and inspire without force. It’s rooted in self-trust, emotional intelligence, and the knowledge that true strength doesn’t have to demand attention—it naturally commands it.

    2️⃣ Master the Art of Stillness

    In a noisy world, stillness is a superpower. Instead of reacting to every situation, cultivate the habit of pausing, observing, and responding with intention.

    • Why It Matters: Stillness allows you to process your emotions and think clearly before taking action.

    • How to Practice: The next time you’re faced with a stressful situation, take a deep breath, pause, and ask yourself: “What outcome aligns with my values?”

    3️⃣ Speak Less, Mean More

    One of the hallmarks of soft power is the ability to communicate effectively without saying too much.

    • Why It Matters: Words carry weight when they’re used intentionally.

    • How to Practice: Before speaking, ask yourself: “Is this true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?” This approach ensures your words are purposeful and impactful.

    4️⃣ Set Boundaries with Grace

    Soft power doesn’t mean being a pushover. It means knowing your worth and being confident in protecting your peace.

    • Why It Matters: Boundaries create space for respect and mutual understanding.

    • How to Practice: Use phrases like:

    • “I appreciate you asking, but I need to focus on myself right now.”

    • “This doesn’t align with what’s best for me, but thank you for thinking of me.”

    5️⃣ Trust in Divine Timing

    Soft power is deeply rooted in faith—faith in yourself, your intuition, and the timing of life.

    • Why It Matters: When you trust that what’s meant for you will come, you stop chasing and start attracting.

    • How to Practice: Shift your mindset from scarcity (“I have to act now or I’ll miss my chance”) to abundance (“What’s meant for me won’t pass me by”).

    6️⃣ Embody Confidence, Not Force

    Confidence is magnetic when it’s quiet and secure. Soft power allows you to exude self-assurance without forcing it.

    • Why It Matters: Confidence rooted in self-worth doesn’t need external validation.

    • How to Practice: Focus on how you feel, not how you’re perceived. Affirm to yourself: “I am enough as I am.”

    Final Reflection

    Cultivating soft power is about showing up for yourself in a way that feels authentic, grounded, and aligned with your values. It’s about trusting your presence, energy, and ability to navigate life with grace and intention.

    So, here’s my challenge for you:

    💬 What’s one way you can start embracing soft power in your life today?

    Let me know your thoughts in the comments—I’d love to hear your story.

  • Welcome to The Soft Power Journal: Because Strength Doesn’t Have To Be Loud

    Welcome to The Soft Power Journal: Because Strength Doesn’t Have To Be Loud

    For so long, I believed strength had to be loud. That power meant proving yourself—asserting your value through force or presence. But over time, life has taught me something different. True strength is soft. It’s resilient, grounded, and deeply rooted in self-awareness. It’s the kind of power that doesn’t demand attention but instead draws it naturally.

    That’s the essence of The Soft Power Journal, and I’m so excited to share this space with you.

    Why I Started This Blog

    I created this blog as a place to document my journey of growth, grace, and embracing the quiet strength within. Over the years, I’ve learned that life is always teaching us something, whether through challenges, moments of joy, or the people we meet along the way.

    Here, I’ll share those lessons—sometimes through personal reflections, other times through stories of people who’ve inspired me. This is a space where I can process, connect, and hopefully inspire others who are navigating their own journeys.

    What You Can Expect

    The Soft Power Journal will be a blend of journal-style entries, personal growth lessons, and reflections on what it means to embody soft power. Some posts will explore themes like intuition, grace, and transformation. Others will focus on practical ways to embrace a high-value mindset, live intentionally, and stay true to yourself.

    I’ll also share stories from others—those who’ve taught me valuable lessons about strength, growth, and resilience. My hope is that this blog becomes a place where we can learn and grow together.

    Welcome to the Journey

    This is just the beginning of The Soft Power Journal, and I can’t wait to share this journey with you. Whether you’re here for inspiration, insight, or a sense of connection, I hope you’ll find somethings that resonates deeply.

    Thank you for being here—welcome to a space of reflection, growth, and soft power.